Quick Question: If You Could Breed Cars Like Animals, What Would You Breed?

Illustration for article titled Quick Question: If You Could Breed Cars Like Animals, What Would You Breed?

Here’s a thought for you to occupy your Friday afternoon while you try to look like you’re working: what if you could breed cars like animals? What if you had a full car-ranch, and using the same principles of animal husbandry and genetics that humans have been using to breed animals for millennia, you could breed your own new breed of car. What would breed?

There’s so many options! For example, think about a Porsche 911/Toyota Previa hybrid: would it have two engines, one in the rear, and one in the middle? Or just one? What about mating a Nissan Cube with several generations of Lamborghini Aventadors to make a roomy breed of car that was sort of boxy with scissor doors, yet also wide, fast, and exotic?

Maybe you’ll want to breed workhorse cars, by combining Subaru Brats and Unimogs? Maybe you’ll focus on purebred Goggomobils for wealthy socialites, constantly fighting inbreeding and disease.


I want to hear what you’d do, car-ranchers. Just don’t think too hard about the cars noisily going at it in those large, open parking lots. Just watch them as they happily slurp from their gasoline troughs. It’s much less disturbing.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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There is only one proper Jalop answer to this.