Project Car Hell, Hood Scoop Edition: Torino or Road Runner?

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With the Mopar Minivan getting the win over the Blown Buick in Friday''s PCH Turbo Sleeper Edition poll, today seems like a good day to return to some good ol' no-replacement-for-displacement Dee-troit muscle. Sure, you could always whip out a fat roll of Benjamins and turn it into a cherry big-block machine that'll wow the car show judges... but this is Project Car Hell, where wallets are thin and Bondo is thick!


Those fastback Fords and Mercuries of the late 60s all look like they ought to be screaming past a beer-saturated infield crowd at the Stonewall Jackson 500; other than the winged Mopars, no factory car looks as NASCAR-esque. Not only that, a Torino with 428 and 4-speed was no slouch at the dragstrip. Yes indeed, even Ford haters manage to dredge up some love for the fastback Torino... and now you can have one, cheap! How about this '69 for the holy-crap price of five hundred dollahs? The seller claims to be uncertain of the identity of this car's engine, though he says he once saw "390" text on a "breather" that he saw in or near the car a while back. However, he "had the engine started" last summer, so maybe it actually runs! There's rust. The bumpers lie in the weeds. There's no title. Perhaps worst of all, the roof is damaged by goats.

Some folks say that the Plymouth Road Runner for '73 wasn't up to the level of its predecessors, but look at that "power bulge" and those wicked-looking scoops on the hood! This car is badass! All the '73 needs, really, is to have the smog motor upgraded with some better hardware... and you'll be able to do just that when you buy this '73 Road Runner for just $1200 (thanks to tipster Chris for letting us know about this one). See, with this car you have the advantage of being able to start from scratch in the drivetrain department, because it's burdened with neither engine nor trans. A quick trip to the junkyard for a 440 out of a New Yorker, the usual intake/cam/header upgrade, and there's the engine; zip down to the swap meet (or eBay) and pick up a 4-speed with all associated goodies, and you're almost done! Well, maybe not quite done... while you're at the swap meet, you'll need to pick up some body parts. And some interior stuff. Oh yeah, and the car has no paperwork. The seller doesn't mention rust... probably because it's a given.

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Project Car Hell, where wallets are thin and Bondo is thick!

This needs to be made into a T-shirt, PRONTO. I'll buy one and wear it to the next Barrett-Jackson. Maybe I'll end up on TV, who knows. See where Internet notoriety can get you, kids!

P.S. I voted Torino, although that Road Runner has the jawless post-apocalyptic nightmarish look as the beautiful DOTS Satellite from moons ago.

Wait...I'm supposed to be a Mopar nut.