ARE YOU READY TO GET PUMPED?! Welcome back to Project Car Crossfit, where we're going to take that pile of junk in your garage and make you sweat.
Look, I get it, sometimes you don't have time to make it out to the Garage of No Pain, No Gain. You've got jello arms, Rosie O'Cream-Puff? Well, I've got half-shafts.
Take the half-shafts from a Porsche. You can find these suckers on just about anything that puts the transmission where it should be: in the back, for maximum upper body work when you finally need to drop the entire driveline to change the clutch. Normally, these suckers connect the wheels to the transmission, but not today, weakling. Oh, no.
Half-shafts are for ARMS DAY. See these guns? Yeah, you're gonna have the right to bear arms all over the place after ARMS DAY.
944 half-shafts weigh about as much as that stupid A/C compressor you tossed out because racecar, only they're in a much more convenient, barbell shaped package. That's right: they're portable!
No longer does a prolonged search in vain for an unlisted part in the 1965 Gordon-Keeble factory service manual mean time away from gettin' buff. Simply cart your half-shaft inside and start doing reps of curls. If your roommates/significant other/mommy whines about slinging axle grease all over the place, tell them to make me a sandwich (and/or start hammering off that rusted-solid control arm).
Getting bored of curls? NO EXCUSE! These half-shafts have another trick up their sleeve.
Ever heard of a silly little invention called the "shake weight?" Yeah, well, if you're the kind of masochist that collects unobtanium Porsche parts, you've got one lying in your spares stash right now.
If you can't fit a few minutes of Shake Axle time in between your sixth Pearl Snap of the afternoon and eating your feelings in Cheetos, you're wastin' your time in ways I can't fathom, Stay-Puft.
Look, if you keep sitting around on your tookus all day searching in vain for Internet tutorials that never materialize, what are you going to do for Core Day, when we quickly reorganize the work area at the behest of the HOA/landlord/city code compliance office? That's right, you'll be completely out of luck. Harden up and get going on those reps.
Disclaimer: Project Car Crossfit (Home Edition) does not recommend putting Shake Axles back on the car without repacking them nicely with fresh grease first and giving them a thorough pre-installation inspection. Only use axles that you might rebuild eventually when you have time (maybe).