I like to think I write reasonable, just-hefty-enough grocery lists. I’m not one of those people who runs in to buy two items, and bulk prices are cheaper, but I also know how much my car can hold. So, my grocery list tends to be on the long side. This new Porsche Panamera’s name is longer.
And, here we go: That vehicle up there is the 2018 Porsche Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid Sport Turismo, a car that most definitely doesn’t have enough spaces to fill out its entire name on the exam scantron. It’s a new addition to the Panamera Sport Turismo line, with enough extra trims to bulk itself up faster than the dude who grunts around the entire gym while swigging a protein shake.
The long-named Porsche is a 680-horsepower plug-in hybrid in wagon form, with a 4.0-liter twin-turbo V8 that makes 550 of that HP and an electric motor that adds 136 HP. And while we like our wagons long, maybe they shouldn’t have equally long nomenclature.
Anyway, the V8 comes from the Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo, and the wagon shares part of its naming structure with the Panamera Turbo S E-Hybrid sedan. Carbon-ceramic brakes are standard, and you’ll get yourself from one place to the next with Porsche’s eight-speed PDK dual-clutch transmission that sends power to all of the wheels.
There’s also 626 lb-ft. of torque stuffed into this wagon, it’ll get to 60 mph in 3.2 seconds and it has a top track speed of 192 mph. You have a few months to work up to being able to ask for it by name, since it should be at U.S. dealerships by spring of 2018.
All of that, plus a fancy vehicle that your friends can never remember the name of (though it’s just on the tip of their tongue), can be had for a base MSRP of $188,400 and a $1,050 delivery, processing and handling fee.
Whether long names equal fancy among people who have $190,000 for a car, I will probably never know. That’s fine. But honestly, Porsche, a large portion of the population cannot pronounce your name correctly. Maybe start using some abbreviations instead?