Porsche vs. Tim Hortons: The Definitive Comparo No One Asked For

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Those of you who’ve been around this blog for quite some time know that I love donuts: both the tire smoke variety as well as the pastry. Look at this irresistable little pink-frosted donut from the 6 Hours of Nürburgring. Look, and weep. So, who does them better: Tim Hortons or Porsche?

[Full disclosure: WEC flew me out on what is, essentially, my dream trip, and now all the manufacturer teams as well as the series itself are trying to keep us happy and full.]


I have a particular weakness for little donuts and Tim Hortons’ Timbits: the ratio of frosting to pastry is better, for one. This is a home race for Porsche’s flagship racing program, just as it is for Audi...and Toyota.......and while we’re at it, I spent a good, long time staring at Team Manthey’s HQ yesterday because it’s just down the road along with a small army of other racing programs’ offices.

So, Porsche is bringing its media-pampering game on strong. All three manufacturer LMP1 teams have extended their hospitality services to members of the media, WEC has their own hospitality tent, and there’s also light lunch fare next to the media pit itself. It’s absurd. The sheer amount of free food here for media-types would put a grad student in a coma. “Must eat...while it’s here.....” *thud*

Porsche one-upped the others by providing food/lounge space in the same tower as the media pit, though. They’re into the World Endurance Championship with a ludicrous budget, and it shows.

Fortunately, I have the self-control of a six-year-old who is 100% guided by their id, and I love little donuts. Porsche whipped out these little pink ones along with several other flavors that didn’t look as delicious as “pink,” so it’s time for a comparison that no one has ever asked for before: Porsche vs. Timmy’s. Who does donuts better?



This is clearly a tie if we were judging by pastries alone, as Timbits are good, and mini-donuts are also good. Full-size donuts are just okay, but the little guys are clearly the Cayman GT4 of the pastry world. Smaller is sometimes better.

Porsche also runs out of little donuts after breakfast. Have to track down a bunch of interviews all morning? Too bad.


Of course, Porsche has the other kind of donuts down solid.


Advantage: Porsche, but only because of the 918.


Both of these should be a fail for me, as neither are located in Austin. I guess Porsche will be in Austin next month, but they’ll probably bring different donuts.


Tim Hortons, of course, is up north, however, they’re weirdly not next to Watkins Glen. There’s a Dunkin Donuts at the bottom of the hill, which also makes donut holes, but they’re not as good as Timbits. Tim Hortons is the master of all things round and delectable.


Porsche, however, brought donuts to the Nürburgring. The angle from Porsche’s media lounge is perfect for photos of cars coming down the pit straight. Also, it’s the Nürburgring. If you haven’t had the need to eventually make a pilgrimage to this place, I have to question why you’re reading this blog.

Porsche only has one location with donuts, but it’s THE location to have.

Advantage: Porsche


Tim Hortons has the be-all and end-all of miniature pastries: the Timbit. The donut part is just the right consistency—not too moist (ahem, blueberry Munchkins), not too dry. The variety of flavors is always good, although my favorites (Apple Fritter, Strawberry) tend to be seasonal, which is irritating.


This would be a solid lock for Tim Hortons had I not bitten into the cute little pink mini-donuts at Porsche.


BOOM. Game changer. That’s berry jelly in my pink frosted donut. Holy crap, this is the most delicious little sugar-bomb I’ve had in quite some time.

Porsche wants to make sure I don’t fit in my Porsche anymore, and I can appreciate that.


Advantage: Porsche


Porsche runs out of little pink donuts way too soon, man. I’m pretty sure they’re just a breakfast treat. There’s not much that a small-volume sportscar manufacturer can do to keep up with a large-volume donut one, even as part of the VAG amalgamation of companies.


Advantage: Tim Hortons

We’ve covered autojourno freebies extensively, as it’s part of the reason why certain outlets never seem to have a bad word to say about anyone. Who wants to derail the gravy train?


Granted, I’m biased for a different reason—I own a Porsche—but I readily admit this, and try not to let it hold me back if, say, Porsche ever does something dumb.

The same kind of thing happens to a lesser extent on the racing end of things, which is why we always try to disclose it whenever someone wants to fly us out to some event to ooh and aah at all the cool race cars and float right home in a kiddie pool of Erdinger.


Fortunately, I haven’t run into as many racing journos who don’t want to hold back criticism because it might cut off our supply of free press cars or whatever. I don’t think there are that many press cars floating around this end of things, anyway, and most of the job can be done with a TV and a few spare hours.

But it’s out there sometimes, particularly at big events with big-budget teams.

“Please like us. We brought donuts. Delicious donuts.”

(Those were really good donuts, though.)

Contact the author at stef.schrader@jalopnik.com.