Thieves cracked into a distribution trailer in central Pennsylvania last Saturday, making off with about 100,000 eggs from Pete & Gerry’s Organics in the borough of Greencastle. The poached eggs are reportedly worth about $40,000, the Associated Press reports. Local authorities are on the case, but as hot as egg prices are these days, don’t expect catching the culprits to be over easy.
Depending on where you live, that $40,000 valuation may look like it’s missing a zero. After all, unless I can no longer do basic math correctly, that works out to $0.40 per egg or “only” $4.80 a dozen. Also, is it really felony grand larceny if you steal food to feed your bodybuilding family? A family of four could easily go through that many eggs in just a couple of years, and if that sounds like too many eggs to eat per day, ask yourself why you hate gains so much.
Meanwhile, days later, the cops are still scrambling to find the culprits, but so far, they’ve had a shell of a time locating anything. “We’re relying on leads from people from the community. So we’re hoping that somebody knows something, and they’ll call us and give us some tips,” a spokesperson for the Pennsylvania State Police told reporters.
You would think it would be difficult to steal some 8,300-ish cartons of eggs without anyone seeing or hearing something, but unfortunately for authorities and the grocery store’s insurance company, the eggs seem to have completely vanished without any witnesses. Will they ever crack the case? Did the thieves steal the eggs for themselves, or are they handing them out to the community? And if they are, are they as hot as Disney’s Robin Hood is? Because I’m definitely getting Robin Hood vibes from the First Great Pennsylvania Egg Heist of 2025.