Almost by definition, a Mitsubishi Mirage sedan is a sad car. Unlike some, I don’t hate the car, but I feel strongly it should be had in hatchback form to maximize its practicality. This one sedan, though, is special.
It’s special because this black Mirage sedan, which has been sitting on this dealer’s lot since 2016, is very likely the Saddest Unsold Car in America. It was 80 percent there just by being what it is, but one detail on the window sticker puts it over the top for the big win/lose.
This picture comes to us from an unnamed Chrysler/Dodge/Jeep/Ram and, very occasionally, Mitsubishi dealership that we’ll leave un-named.
Here’s what really makes this car so very sad: look at what’s listed there, all alone, under ‘Optional Equipment.’
Dewalt 20V Max Cordless Drill & Driver Kit
Comes equipped with an LED which goes on when the trigger is pulled. You’ll a clear view of whatever you are drilling or screwing with minimal shadows.
Optional Equipment: Full Tank of Gas.
Dear lord, that’s sad. That’s so, profoundly, achingly sad. This is the automotive equivalent of being caught sobbing in your undecorated cubicle at a job you hate because no one remembered it was your birthday, and when they finally did remember and hand you a card at 4:48 p.m., your name is spelled wrong.
Granted, it’s pretty standard for these to include the full tank of gas, but still, having it just sit there as the one, lone “option” for this car... my God, that’s bleak.
This is the Monroney Sticker equivalent of trying to impress a member of your preferred gender with a yo-yo trick, only to fling the yo-yo at your own face so hard it splits your lip and you drop to your knees, stunned, bleeding, and crying.
Also, I bet if you actually, somehow, perhaps out of pity, bought this thing, you’d find it’s actually 3/4 of a tank of gas.
This is the saddest unsold car in America.