Oh My God Look At This Hummer

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)

Look, we at Jalopnik have some respect for the Hummer brand. But this Hummer H2 we found on eBay has so much going on that my brain’s misfiring just trying to comprehend it. With that said, I’m going to try to get through a description of this...vehicle.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)

What you’re experiencing here is apparently a 2003 Hummer H2 extensively modified by AIM Industries in 2003. The finished product was featured in Truckin’ Magazine in September 2004. According to TruckTrend, AIM’s CEO Joe Morrow wanted to show off the company’s bolt-on 18-inch lift kit for the Hummer H2 by building a crazy custom Hummer.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)

The lift kit maintains the stock front suspension components and complements them with triple-shock hoops and air springs and airbags, all from AIM. Holding it all up are 20-inch Weld Racing wheels wrapped in 49.5 inch Interco Irok tires.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)

AIM could have stopped there, but clearly a build of this caliber needed more. So Joe went to L&G Enterprises in San Dimas, California, as the Truckin’ article notes. There, longtime custom painter Theresa Contreras worked some magic. While this whole Hummer is...something, I think she did a great job. Admittedly, I dig the yellow peeling away to reveal a bare metal look. Remember the era this build came from and the paint actually makes sense!

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AIM then went to DefenderWorx in Suwanee, Georgia, (now Yorba Linda, California) to slap an entire catalog of billet parts onto the H2. Everything from the taillight covers to the hood grille got outfitted in billet. Again, very impressive craftsmanship was involved here. The end result is just...a lot. It looks as if the Hummer crashed through the chrome accessory section of a Pep Boys.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)
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Not wanting to stop with the exterior, they moved on to the interior. Seats were done by Classic Soft Trim in Commerce, California, and the rest of the interior and the audio system was given a Pimp My Ride style makeover by Audio Innovations in Glendora, California. Of course, you have your regular mid-2000s mods like TVs in headrests and enough Bazooka speakers to wipe out your hearing in no time flat.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)
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A close look at these pictures makes it appear that the missiles on the sides and the gun turret on the hood were added after the magazine photo session.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)
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I have so many questions.

I’ve also seen no mentions about gearing. I would hope something was done to the gearing because otherwise I can’t imagine this would move with any gusto.

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Photo: eBay (Fair Use)

The 5,070 miles on the odometer suggests this is one of those forever-garage-queen things, or it’s simply too impractical to be driven regularly. In all honesty, while this Hummer may look ripped straight out of Need For Speed: Underground, a lot of talent went into making it, and that’s pretty cool.

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Bidding ended at $55,200 with the reserve not met.

Staff Writer at Jalopnik. Loves all types of vehicles!! Smart Fortwo (05, 08, 12, 16), International 3800, VW W8, Jetta TDI (04, 12), Audi TT, Buell Lightning, Suzuki Burgman, Yamaha U7E, Honda CBR600

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DISCUSSION

Is this monstrosity road-legal? Every time I see a lifted truck with huge mud tires, I can’t help but ask how these things can legally be on the road. In the event of a collision, there will be no bumper-to-bumper contact and instead the lifted car will just drive over the other one. If you are really lucky, the lower subframe will shear off your roof - Mansfield bar style. Not to mention the added weight and compromises to driving dynamics.

It’s crazy that cops will ding you for a busted taillight when driving in a truck with a significant lift is much more dangerous.