Non-Van Ram Man May Buy ProMaster Van, Become Pro-ProMaster Ram Van Master-Man

Illustration for article titled Non-Van Ram Man May Buy ProMaster Van, Become Pro-ProMaster Ram Van Master-Man

You there! Are you a man who likes Rams, but not vans? Then you should consider buying the Ram ProMaster van, and then you'll become a man who is both for the ProMaster Ram Van and a master man. Perhaps that will change your mind.

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It took all of us a while to come up with that one. We're quite proud of it.

Anyway, more news out of the Chicago Auto Show today as Chrysler unveiled their combatant in the commercial van wars against the Ford Transit, Nissan NV and Mercedes-Benz Sprinter.

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The ProMaster started life as the Fiat Ducato van in Europe, but significant changes have been made to handle the stresses of modern life in America. Two engines are available: the now-ubiquitous Pentastar 3.6-liter V6 good for 280 horsepower and 260 lb-ft of torque, and a 3.0-liter diesel inline four-cylinder producing 174 hp and 295 lb-ft.

Unlike the Ram Vans of yore, this one is front-wheel-drive with unibody construction. But Chrysler says there are some 13 configurations available with varying wheelbases and roof heights. And it's got plenty of utility: the ProMaster has a payload capacity of up to 5,145 pounds, and a gross combined weight rating of 11,500 pounds with the V6. That's 12,500 pounds with the diesel four.

There is currently no date when you yourself can become Pro-Van Ram ProMaster Van Man, but it'll probably be soon.

Illustration for article titled Non-Van Ram Man May Buy ProMaster Van, Become Pro-ProMaster Ram Van Master-Man
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Illustration for article titled Non-Van Ram Man May Buy ProMaster Van, Become Pro-ProMaster Ram Van Master-Man
Illustration for article titled Non-Van Ram Man May Buy ProMaster Van, Become Pro-ProMaster Ram Van Master-Man

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DISCUSSION

porsche9146
Fred Smith

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

Tryin' to change perceptions and doin' the best I can

And when it's time for haulin'

I hope you'll understand

That I was born a Ram Van man

My father was a marketer in Michigan

He wound up on the wrong end of Marchionne

And I was born in a back room up in Auburn Hills

Hatin' those across highway one fifty-three

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

Tryin' to change perceptions and doin' the best I can

And when it's time for haulin'

I hope you'll understand

That I was born a Ram Van man

I'm on my way to Los Angeles this mornin'

Ram can only afford the Hilton Doubletree

And no I don't mind not staying near the auto show

There's thrifty fun out in Commerce City

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

Tryin' to change perceptions and doin' the best I can

And when it's time for haulin'

I hope you'll understand

That I was born a Ram Van man

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

Lord, I was born a Ram Van man

(via For Sweden http://jalopnik.com/5963977/non+van-ram-man-may-buy-ram-van-become-ram-van-man?post=54683079 )