We spend a lot of time talking about cars used in racing or hoonage, but we seldom talk about the best and most important use a car can possibly have: the distribution of delicious ice cream. But you can't be some bitch-ass punk if you wanna run in the ice cream truck game! You gotta be hardcore!

Take two ice cream truck operators in upstate New York now embroiled in a criminal case that feels like a lighter, more ice cream-based version of The Wire. In the town of Gloversville near Albany, the owner and an employee of distributor Sno Cone Joe (the Marlo Stanfield organization) have been attempting to chase rival company Mr. Ding-A-Ling (Avon Barksdale's crew) out of the market through intimidation, according to the Associated Press.

The AP reports that Sno Cone Joe owner Joshua Malatino and his girlfriend Amanda Scott followed a Mr. Ding-A-Ling driver while playing their music at a high volume and promising free ice cream to lure away customers. They also shouted "This is my town!" at the driver.

It gets better. Malatino also apparently called the Albany headquarters of Mr. Ding-A-Ling to harass them over the phone, screaming "I own this town!" and saying Sno Cone Joe controlled the Gloversville ice cream market.


The Albany Times-Union reports that Malatino has attempted to rule the Fudgsicle game through fear and intimidation for some time now:

"In the past, Malatino has been warned for this type of behavior," said Capt. John Sira, adding Malatino drove a different ice cream vendor truck out of town last summer.

The officer made note of the strange sighting and later asked the Mr. Ding-A-Ling driver if Malatino had spoken to him. The driver then told police about the threats and odd behavior.

[...] "We warned him before that this type of behavior would not be tolerated," Sira said. "This is a pretty open market here in Gloversville as long as you have a permit."

Mr. Ding-A-Ling owner Brian Collis said Malatino has been threatening him and his drivers for the better part of the past decade.

"He's always following my guys, playing his music loud, giving out free ice cream," Collis said. "Every year he calls up and says 'Who do you think you are, putting another truck in this town?'"


Malatino and Scott have both been charged with stalking and harassment.

All in the game, yo. All in the game.

Photos credit Dean Terry/Gloversville Police Department

Hat tip to smackjack21!