Generally, we have limited opportunities to cover consensual acts of public urination here, because most acts of public urination involving cars tend to be of the uninvited kind. This time, though, there’s a genuinely impressive act of public urination coupled with a NASCAR angle, so that’s all I need to bring you the absolute best in urinary act news coverage.
A singer for the band Brass Against, performing at a NASCAR-owned property, Daytona International Speedway, peed on a fan onstage, and now NASCAR has banned them from their venues. Say what you will about stage urinating, but I think the singer demonstrated the pinnacle of professionalism in that very specific genre.
Let me be clear here: this isn’t some GG Allin-type situation, mired in rage and focused only on the goal of trying to get everyone as grossed-out as possible. Instead, the situation here seems to be that the lead singer, the kind of appropriately-named Sophia Urista, noted during the show that she very much needed to urinate, but was unwilling to leave the performance, because of how much she was enjoying the process of performing.
She specifically asked for a volunteer from the audience, and one came forward in short order. Then, the volunteer laid down on stage, straddled by Urista, who proceeded to drop her pants enough to expose her external urethral orifice, where urine is ejected from the bladder, over the volunteer.
Here’s video of Urista explaining her plan:
It’s worth noting that she specifically asks into the microphone the following:
“Can I take my pants off and piss in this motherfucker’s mouth right now? Is that okay?”
I mean, at this point, if anyone here had any issues, this was the time to speak up. It’s not like this whole thing came out of the blue. She very clearly explained what her little plan, right there, to everyone.
I bring this up because I feel like in the subsequent aftershocks of the event, the band kind of threw Urista under the bus. Here was their apology, via Twitter:
Motherfuckers, how can you say it’s not something “the rest of us expected” when she outlined the whole act before it happened? You all got “carried away,” and if you didn’t then one of the other dozen or so members of your huge-ass band could have said, hey, Sophia, maybe don’t pee on stage. Go run to the can and we’ll cover for you.
But no one did.
Okay, back to what happened. If you forgot where we were, here’s a diagram:
Okay, so, that’s the scene. Keep in mind that this whole time, the band continued to play, and Urista maintained a steady dialogue of crowd banter as she prepared.
Then, she squatted down and peed, copiously and vigorously, onto the participant.
If you want to watch it all happen, here’s the video. Now, this is a video of one human being urinating onto another, so if that’s not something you wish to see, please, please feel free to not click play. Because if you do, the images you will see will be of, again, somebody peeing on someone else.
All clear? You click play, you see peeing. Got it? Good:
Here’s what impresses me about this: she keeps singing. And, that’s a hell of a lot of urine. Sometimes I have trouble letting it flow if some dude takes the urinal right next to mine, and here she is, just firehosing a torrent of urine in front of a huge crowd while simultaneously performing her job.
I’m not appalled by this in the slightest: I’m deeply impressed. This woman is an absolute professional, doing the job nonstop even if she has to pee, like an Amazon driver or something, and managing to make it into a memorable part of the show.
The woman is a showman, full stop. Tell me you’re not entertained. You can’t.
NASCAR, unsurprisingly, was less impressed. NASCAR spokesman Russell Branham issued a statement, saying:
“Daytona International Speedway doesn’t condone the inappropriate actions that took place during Thursday’s Welcome to Rockville event. We are working with promoter Danny Wimmer Presents to address the issue. The band will not be included in future programming at NASCAR venues.”
Honestly, if NASCAR had any sense, that statement would have read more like “NASCAR is proud to hire entertainers who commit so completely to their performances, and we hope to see more of this dedicated band in the future” or something like that.
Urista issued a personal apology on Instagram:
As far as I’m concerned, she has nothing to apologize for. She gave the best possible performance she could. Her band should be apologizing to her for not having her back, but I think overall she and the band will come out ahead. I mean, I’m not someone necessarily interested in being urinated upon or someone who was aware of the band’s music, but here I am, using the flimsiest of NASCAR-related pretexts to write about the whole thing, on a car website. That has to mean something.