Mitsubishi Delica, BMW R1200GS, Subaru Legacy Outback XT: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online

I lied to you. This isn’t really a Delica, but it’s based on the L200 pickup from which the Delica took many of its parts. They’re close, with similar turbo diesel engines, manual gearboxes, and 4WD systems, but the L200's pickup design gives it an added bonus: Empty space.

Space that can be filled with, say, a camper. The L200's short wheelbase doesn’t leave a ton of room, but this JB470 camper makes the best of the room it’s been given. Seats, a table, a bed, and even a stove, microwave, and fridge — this is a full-on dwelling.

I recently purchased a BMW GS, so I’ve been rewatching the Long Way series to maximize my insufferability. But my little G310 is far inferior to the flat-twin GSes that Ewan and Charley rode around the world, so for your fall of camping you may be better suited with the bigger bike. Convenient, then, that they’re cheap.

For just five grand, this R1200GS includes an adjustable windscreen, hand protectors, and hard panniers. It’s the ultimate bike for pointing at a spot on the map, then just going there. Load those side cases up with a hammock and a tarp, and get to bike camping.

I used to own a turbo manual Subaru wagon, but mine was a mere Legacy that lacked the Outback’s camp-ready ground clearance. And, no, Legacy Outback isn’t a typo — the two models weren’t fully split until 2009. There’s your bar trivia fact for the day.

This Legacy Outback XT is the rare combination of turbo, manual, and wagon that strikes directly at our Jalop hearts. Sure, the head gaskets might be shot, and the power steering leaks, but these can all be fixed. I’d rather do that than try to find a new-for-2022 turbo manual adventure wagon on the market.

Speaking of automotive minutiae, after the Legacy Outback, we have a Honda Integra Type R. This model’s been imported from Japan, the Land That Acura Forgot, so it wears an H on its forehead and two eyes rather than four. Also, it costs half as much as an Acura Integra Type R.

JDM Integræ are the true deal for imported cars. They’re considerably cheaper than American-delivered equivalents, and many American buyers prefer the Japanese fascia anyway. Look no further than all the cars period-modified with Japanese parts to see the truth: JDM is always better.

But an Integra, while fun, won’t get you far into the wilderness. Plus, the sound of a B18C at full tilt will likely scare off any wildlife within thirty miles of you. No, for adventuring, you need something a little more rugged — and low-revving.

Something like a classic Defender. Four driven wheels, six diesel-fueled cylinders, and those steel cables from the bumper to the roof that you see on real safari vehicles. I’m not sure how much good they’re doing in Brooklyn, but perhaps you can put them to better use.

This kit Cobra’s Craigslist ad seems to be a full build timeline — there are in-progress shots, paint shots, even photos of the bare chassis. With all that in the ad, it’s a bit unclear what version of the car is actually up for sale. All we know for sure is that it’s yellow.

The seller claims this car has been on the road three times, for a sum total of less than an hour, but that the wiring harness isn’t yet installed. How the Chevy small block has been firing and running without power remains a mystery to me, but maybe it’s all on the alternator. Can you pull start a 350?

The XR1200 deserved better. Its flat-track styling just barely missed the cafe racer craze, hitting the market a few years before the waxed mustaches did. But you now have the opportunity to rewrite history, by buying this Sportster-but-also-not-a-Sportster and riding it the way it was meant to be ridden: frequently.

See, beneath that race-ready styling lies a perfectly streetable bike. The XR1200 was one of the more advanced Harleys of its day, which means it’s still one of the more advanced Harleys that doesn’t wear a Panamerica badge. Give it a shot, it’ll reward you for your efforts.

This M3 is a top-tier German performance luxury car with six-figure mileage. It’s fourteen years old and already on its second engine. The headlights shine bright amber, and the Florida-based seller is offering repair receipts from Jersey. What could go wrong?

Well, everything, but consider what you get if it all goes right — a 414-horsepower V8 that screams out to a nearly 8,500 RPM redline. It’ll probably reach that redline at least once, possibly even twice, before needing a third engine.

On a similar end of the reliability spectrum, we have a tuned Dodge that’s almost old enough to vote. This SRT4 claims a $36,000 motor build and a 600-horsepower peak power figure, both of which are likely signs of a paragon of longevity. The bolted-on fenders, too, speak to a meticulous owner.

But this Neon has something special, something that grabs the eye away from that boring old Bimmer above: teal accents. More cars need accent colors, and more cars need to incorporate teal. Automakers, do both, you cowards.

Is that Neon not unreliable enough for you? Does the fact that it came with a turbo from the factory turn you off, since no additional piping was likely needed? Do you dislike the idea that your entire core support may still exist? Look no further.

This S2000 has been given the full Initial D treatment, with a black hood and GT wing over yellow paint creating a package worthy of either God Hand or Keisuke Takahashi. You’ll just have to rescue it from the Miami area, and introduce it to some real mountain passes.

I know, I already had one BMW bike on this list. However, look at this bike. Look at it! It’s absolutely gorgeous, it’s a piece of art. It’s even parked in front of other art! It’s perfect!

This K1100's Craigslist description isn’t the most detailed, but it covers the important bits. The rear subframe is a custom design, the front end’s been lowered and the tank tilted up to compensate. Just replace that cheap-looking muffler, and you’ll have one of the most beautiful bikes around.

No wheel should ever have more than four spokes. Three remains the perfect number, but four lends itself to some extremely period-correct designs for ‘70s to ‘80s cars. They’re good wheels, and they need a good car to adorn.

Convenient, then, that Datsun built the 210. This example’s a bit rusty, a bit battered, and wears some truly heinous aftermarket headlights, but it’s still a 210 — a great little vehicle for getting around.

Where a 210 falls short, though, is when you try to leave the pavement. If you want to do that, stick to the Delica camper or the GS. But if you want roads to become a distant memory, this FJ is your perfect chariot.

Fenders? Gone. Roof? Gone. Tailgate? Gone. Bumpers? Gone. All that’s left is seats, a winch, two headlights, and some big tires. What more could you possibly want?

This Z is not, objectively, a good car. But it is exactly something I would have built in Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition Remix as a child, right down to the word “Performance” written across the hood. It’s even an automatic transmission, because I couldn’t handle that many buttons on the PS2 controller as a youth.

The Z harkens back to an earlier time of car modification, when vinyl decals that mirrored already-tasteless “tribal” tattoos were all the rage. I have no desire to return to those specific graphics, but there’s something so simple, so pure about that time.

How much blue is too much blue? A blue exterior is great. Pair it with a blue interior, though, and now you’ve really got a stew going. Paint-matching your exterior to your leather is just chef-kiss perfection.

Especially when that paint matching is found on a car as good-looking as a Lincoln Continental. Sure, this Mark V may not hold a candle to the rear-hinged beauty that the crew that the Nebuchadnezzar used to debug Neo, but it’s a stunner in its own right.