Mercedes Releases Epic Innuendo-Laced Song For Its Service Workers

I don't know if this is single-handedly the greatest song devoted to service center employees ever, or the worst (hint: it's the worst). The five-minute-long epic is laced with gross and heavy-handed innuendo, and at the end you're just sort of left with gnawing questions that you don't want answered.


The lyrics in this thing are just unsettling. Here's a delightful/horrifying little sampling (remember, this is about service centers):

I like them to be strong,

that they catch me when I skid.

Like them to turn me on.

I thought that some of them did.

But just as I needed a helping hand

So many men were "out of service," not like you...


It goes on in that fashion for five minutes. Five minutes. About service centers. For a little perspective, "Life In The Fast Lane" by the Eagles, a song also ostensibly about cars, only runs for 4:46. It also doesn't help that the lady singing it, while she has a fine singing voice I suppose, seems to be channeling the vocal style of whatever your mom was listening to in the mid-1990s.


Oh, and then there's this monstrosity:

Illustration for article titled Mercedes Releases Epic Innuendo-Laced Song For Its Service Workers


And finally – I'm not insinuating anything here – the entire thing is racially segregated.


Just saying.

H/t to Carscoops!


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If you think that's epic, you need to see Ford's "Toolbox Hero"