The Five Hundred was so depressing that even Ford could only stomach the joy-void of the thing for two years; by 2008 it was re-named the Taurus, and some attempt was made to de-boringize the car, because Ford just couldn’t live with all the blood of all those dreams on their hands.


Our collective memory has helped us immeasurably when it comes to the Ford Five Hundred, because it’s been effectively blocked from most people’s minds.

It’s almost like it never existed, and this is a case where that amnesia is welcomed like a friend.