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Mayor Wishes He Could Invoke Darwin's Law On Stupid Citizens

Illustration for article titled Mayor Wishes He Could Invoke Darwins Law On Stupid Citizens

Calgary, which is a city in Canada, which is a mystical place that you can get to if you drive North enough on the highway, is experiencing some major flooding right now. That hasn't stopped some Calgarians from attempting a little boating, which is really totally stupid according to Mayor Naheed Nenshi.


Mayor Nenshi went a bit Bulworth last night on his constituents, explaining the idiocy of recreational boating with the patience of a saint (bolding mine):

I can't believe I actually have to say this, but I'm going to say it. The river is closed. You. Can. Not. Boat. On. The. River. I have a large number of nouns that I can use to describe the people that I saw in a canoe on the Bow River today. I am not allowed to use any of them. I can tell you, however, that I have been told that despite the state of local emergency I am not allowed to invoke the Darwin Law.

If you are on the river we have to rescue you. If we have to rescue you we are taking away valuable resources from others. Every time we have to pull a rescue boat onto the river it means there is not a rescue boat in a community that is flood. It is selfish and it is ridiculous for you to be on the river. So do not do it. Stay off the river no matter what kind of thrills you are interested in coming for and I won't use any of the nouns that I really want to use.


Now I'm pretty sure that Survival of the Fittest is the only Law of the Land in Canada, so the fact that Mayor Neshi can't invoke it must be a pretty big deal. It also doesn't help that the Calgary Saddledome, home to the NHL's Calgary Flames is flooded as well, and with hockey being Canada's raîson d'etre the morale of the city must be pretty low:

Illustration for article titled Mayor Wishes He Could Invoke Darwins Law On Stupid Citizens

Calgarians (Calgarites?), if you learn one thing from Jalopnik, let it be this: DO NOT GO IN A BOAT. No matter how down your spirits get, try staying home and drinking Molsons or Labatts or whatever it is you drink until it's all over. Your city will be dry soon, and until then, your fellow Canadians will be making sure your spirits are up.

Gonna take the Flames a long fucking time to empty out the Saddledome with only 1 cup

— Cody Rose (@C_rose14) June 22, 2013

Images credit: Wilson Hui, the Calgary Flames


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Well there are dumber things you can do in Calgary right now than boating... like going for a swim...

Honestly I think the mayor should be concerning himself with more important things than a few people in boats.

Also, when he says "You. Can. Not. Boat. On. The. River.", technically he's wrong. Unless the river runs dry, you most certainly CAN boat on the river... as some people have demonstrated.

Instead of just saying "it's stupid", he should be explaining to people *why* it's a bad idea.

Because if you just say "What you're doing is stupid. Don't do it.", many will react with a "Fuck you... I'm gonna do it anyway. You can't control me. "

When you insult people, it will often cause people to react in an obstinate way and then they'll do what you asked them not to do out of spite.