Man Tries To Evade Cops But Can't Evade His Own Awful Stench

The suspect was long gone. Nothing but some faint treadmarks on the ground, a whirl of dust in the air. But the old cop knew something was up. His lip curled, his nostrils widened. "That, Jimmy," he told his young deputy, "is not the smell of fear. It's the smell of Axe. Really, terrible Axe. Seriously, it's awful."

And so began the, uh, beginning, of the end for one Lebanon, Oregon suspect now charged with attempting to elude a police officer, reckless driving and second-degree criminal trespass.


Charles Agosto, 35, led police on an intense high speed chase, at certain points topping over 100 MPH, according to the local Albany Democrat-Herald. He want so fast, in fact, and his strategy of car maintenance was so poor, that at one point the hood of his red Honda Prelude (of course) flew off from pure wind velocity.

Agosto managed to actually elude the cops, and they called off the chase. Until they saw his car parked in his driveway, accompanied by a thick, acrid scent. It was the pungent musk of a man in heat:

While Officers and Deputies could not readily see the suspect due to darkness and dense foliage, a strong scent of cologne could be smelled in the area.

Upon the arrival of a U.S. Department of Forestry ranger, Agosto was found within a few minutes, hunkered down in some shrubbery on private property.

Agosto was taken into custody without incident and officers said he told them he regretted applying cologne prior to leaving his house.

Agosto was then transported to jail for "lodging," the Democrat-Herald report says. There is no word on whether or not that is some archaic rural Oregonian euphemism for "strong decontamination."

Photo, not of the suspect, via Shutterstock

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