I've covered a lot of crimes in my reporting career. The worst ones were the senseless ones, the random ones, the ones with no motive. A woman in South Carolina was the victim of such a crime this weekend when cops say a man smeared buttery toast all over her SUV.

I'll reiterate: A man has been charged with the crime of smearing toast on an SUV. This is a crime in South Carolina, and police don't know why he allegedly did it.

The Times and Democrat reports that 34-year-old Christopher Brannon of Union, S.C. was arrested Saturday and charged with malicious damage to property after a neighbor said she caught him wiping something on the back windshield of her car. She said she found a "greasy film" on the windshield and piece of toast on the ground nearby.

From the story:

Damage to the SUV was estimated at $1. A sheriff's report did not mention a motive.


Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Hat tip to Mary!