LiveBlogging The GM Earnings Call: Earnings Up, Earnings Down, Earnings All Around

After last week and the very successful debacle liveblog of the Ford earnings call...who are we kidding, the format was terrible. This time it's different. We swear! This time we're going to try to make it bigger, bolder and better.Thus, we've got this...the General Motors earnings call liveblog! So click the jump and keep refreshing this post as Spinelli and Wert liveblog more content at ya! It'll be the next worst thing to actually being there!

Wert (9:36:49 AM): We're liveblogging the GM earnings call.
Spinelli (9:37:01 AM): cool
Wert (9:37:13 AM): As we speak
Wert (9:37:23 AM): What would you like to say?
Spinelli (9:38:15 AM): Are they financing buyers with substandard FICO scores?
Spinelli (9:38:25 AM): to boost sales
Wert (9:39:00 AM): Umm...I don't think they'll be talking about that Mike. It's only the first half an hour, so it's kind of a lot of Fritz talking about numbers and stuff.
Spinelli (9:39:20 AM): just kidding
Wert (9:39:30 AM): No, its good — keep it coming
Spinelli (9:39:48 AM): Do they dress to the left?
Wert (9:40:06 AM): What we write, I'll be showing as the liveblog. Cause that's what the liveblog is all about — the wackiness of real-time communication!
Spinelli (9:40:24 AM): How much are cheese fries at the Renn Center?
Spinelli (9:40:44 AM): Can I have a hall pass?
Spinelli (9:41:52 AM): Are you sticking GMAC with substandard loans to jack up sales figures before unloading the division?
Spinelli (9:42:11 AM): Can I borrow five bucks?
Spinelli (9:42:25 AM): Will the next Cadillac have tailfins?
Wert (9:43:50 AM): Ok, that's enough out of you.
Wert (9:44:13 AM): Fritz is talking and we're reading along to a pdf. It's so interactive and stuff.
mikespinnn (9:44:37 AM): It's the next worst thing to being there
Wert (9:45:07 AM): basically
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Spinelli (9:46:00 AM): Next time he says "synergy" you have to take a sip of coffee
Spinelli (9:46:43 AM): If he says "possibilities" you have to sing "Takin' It to the Streets"
Wert (9:49:17 AM): Good call. One sip of coffee if we hear "reasonably good"
Wert (9:49:23 AM): sip
Wert (9:49:26 AM): sip, sip
Spinelli (9:49:36 AM): sip
Spinelli (9:49:42 AM): ouch
Spinelli (9:49:45 AM): hot
Spinelli (9:51:06 AM): Is that an EBTDA in his pants or is he just happy to see us?
Wert (9:51:18 AM): Hi-HO!
Wert (9:51:25 AM): One sip for "turnaround"!
Spinelli (9:51:28 AM): sip
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Spinelli (9:57:11 AM): what's going on now?
Wert (9:57:29 AM): Excellent! Sanjeev is talking all 'bout GMAC, daddy
Spinelli (9:57:39 AM): He's a sport
Wert (9:57:50 AM): They made some money — like $900 million or so.
Spinelli (9:58:04 AM): That's good money
Wert (9:58:19 AM): hehe, his voice just cracked. That's *adorable*!
Spinelli (9:58:51 AM): Is that Clearasil on his chin?
Wert (9:59:16 AM): "...they took a symbolic step this quarter towards closing the GMAC deal..."
Spinelli (10:00:19 AM): The empty wheat field symbolizes the loss of cash flow from GMAC
Spinelli (10:00:47 AM): Is Cerberus buying it?
Spinelli (10:00:51 AM): I forget now
Wert (10:00:54 AM): As does the — not pie chart, per se — but rather, an empty pie pan.
Spinelli (10:01:01 AM): Hiho!
Wert (10:01:23 AM): I mean, I feel like there's a difference between buying and trying to buy...
Spinelli (10:01:56 AM): Isn't that a three-headed dog with a snake's tail?
Spinelli (10:02:25 AM): They must be lovable to negotiate with
Wert (10:02:43 AM): Right.
Spinelli (10:02:56 AM): When they lick three hands at once, while shooting venom into someone's neck
Wert (10:03:32 AM): I gotta say, it's preferrable (sp?) to the alternative...
Spinelli (10:03:39 AM): True
Wert (10:03:48 AM): You know what the alternative is right?
Spinelli (10:03:51 AM): But didn't Cerberus guard the gates of hell?
Spinelli (10:03:56 AM): What?
Wert (10:04:19 AM): Rick Wagoner in a leather dom suit being paraded around like a horse with Carlos Ghosn and Kirk Kerkorian on his back.
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Wert (10:08:30 AM): Hey, they're talking "Net Liquidity" now...and they actually provide a relatively easy to read chart of liquidity by quarter since 2001. Farago'd love this shit. Why can't we get his ass onto this wacky IM / liveblog system?
Spinelli (10:09:34 AM): He's one some proprietary IM network
Spinelli (10:09:54 AM): Of his own evil design
Spinelli (10:10:05 AM): It only accepts voice messages
Wert (10:10:05 AM): I'd expect nothing less. And by the way, this is totally so much better than that Ford "Way Forward" presser from last week. Wanna know why?
Spinelli (10:10:13 AM): Why?
Wert (10:10:44 AM): In all seriousness here, they actually have a list of GM's next steps. And here's the cool part — it's got details!
Spinelli (10:11:10 AM): What??
Wert (10:11:20 AM): Ooh, and uses big words like "attrition" and "synergies" and "alliance"
Spinelli (10:11:22 AM): Is the chain of fruit stands a go?
Spinelli (10:11:26 AM): sip
Wert (10:11:36 AM): sip, sip, sip
Wert (10:12:34 AM): And the reading from the pdf part is done...analyst questions will be coming next.
Spinelli (10:12:50 AM): Oooh. Can we ask about junk bondage?
Wert (10:13:04 AM): Umm...
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Wert (10:15:48 AM): Ooo...John Murphy from Merrill's talking...
Wert (10:16:15 AM): That reminds me, I need to call my broker. Scott, if you're reading...buy! No wait, sell! No wait...just hold.
Spinelli (10:16:48 AM): Hold for Mr. Kerkorian...
Wert (10:17:40 AM): "...could we have a bit more granularity in the average revenue per unit...whats the impact of the new (GM)T-900's."
Spinelli (10:17:41 AM): What's he saying?
Wert (10:17:49 AM): Meh, nothing important.
Wert (10:17:56 AM): My broker?
Spinelli (10:18:01 AM): Granularity?
Spinelli (10:18:09 AM): Is that cents?
Wert (10:18:14 AM): millions of tiny pieces
Wert (10:18:19 AM): Like that book from Oprah
Spinelli (10:18:33 AM): The GMT-900 added a few cents to their bottom line? Good to hear
Spinelli (10:19:15 AM): Or are they paying their creditors in grain now?
Wert (10:19:24 AM): I mean, I don't think that's what he's...jeez...he just said "granularity" again — this time in terms of "ResCap"
Spinelli (10:20:00 AM): I hate corporate code
Spinelli (10:20:29 AM): Is ResCap their baseball hat franchise?
Wert (10:20:38 AM): And it's "Scott" that's talking about "granularity" — I hope it's not my broker.
Spinelli (10:21:00 AM): "Scott, say a few words about granularity.."
Wert (10:21:08 AM): The Morgan Stanley guy's on now.
Spinelli (10:21:15 AM): "Glad to, John"
Spinelli (10:21:25 AM): "It's grainy in here..."
Spinelli (10:21:59 AM): Seriously, what's ResCap?
Spinelli (10:22:24 AM): Is that GMAC's real estate division?
Wert (10:22:52 AM): Yuppers.
Spinelli (10:22:52 AM): Used to be GMAC Mortgage?
Spinelli (10:23:14 AM): Sounds like they all have sand in their shorts
Wert (10:23:34 AM): They made mad money (note the small caps, Jim), $547 million this past quarter.
Spinelli (10:24:02 AM): Go houses!
Spinelli (10:24:22 AM): Toyota builds houses
Wert (10:24:40 AM): And actually that was $247 more million than was made by ResCap year-on-year and is the only reason GMAC showed an increase (by $82 million) in income this quarter year-to-year.
Wert (10:24:57 AM): How's that whole ADD thing going for ya today? ;-)
Spinelli (10:25:17 AM): Swimingly
Wert (10:25:40 AM): Like a fish — all over the place?
Spinelli (10:25:44 AM): Seriously, GM should build some motherfucking houses
Spinelli (10:26:00 AM): Cars are so old economy
Wert (10:26:01 AM): On a plane?
Spinelli (10:26:07 AM): Planes too
Wert (10:26:09 AM): Houses on a car?
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Spinelli (10:27:39 AM): This is boring. When's the exciting stuff coming? Like, is the Kingdom of Dubai buying Pontiac
Spinelli (10:27:41 AM): ?
Spinelli (10:27:56 AM): When's the new Chevette arriving?
Spinelli (10:28:15 AM): Is Daewoo on drugs?
Spinelli (10:28:58 AM): When's Mexican day in the Renn Center cafeteria?
Wert (10:29:06 AM): Sorry, I was sipping...I heard "alliance," "synergy" and umm...well, I've got some Bailey's in here...so...I've been doing a bit more than sipping...
Spinelli (10:29:28 AM): sip, sip, er, glug
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Wert (10:32:00 AM): Fritz: "GM...may be short on a lot of things, but we're never short on scale!"
Spinelli (10:32:51 AM): Jeez — that's for damn sure
Wert (10:34:19 AM): Random Analyst: "...would GM be interested in a cross-equity stake in Renault?"
Wert (10:34:25 AM): GM to buy Renault!
Wert (10:34:27 AM): Not really.
Spinelli (10:35:16 AM): Isn't that what Renault and Nissan did?
Spinelli (10:36:03 AM): I hope they do it, then we can reference The Circle Jerks in a headline
Wert (10:36:20 AM): hehe, its all about the slightly causal links, huh?
Spinelli (10:36:37 AM): Why else would we do this?
Wert (10:36:46 AM): Hmm...good point.
Wert (10:37:19 AM): Ok, the media folks will be up next. I'm so excited. Maybe they'll let me ask a question! What should I ask?
Spinelli (10:37:50 AM): Ask if Mexican day in the cafeteria includes a mariachi band
Wert (10:38:27 AM): Ooh, that's a good one...for Ford! Anything else?
Spinelli (10:38:48 AM): See if GMAC comes with a side of cole slaw
Wert (10:39:08 AM): Hmm...better.
Wert (10:39:12 AM): "...incentive creep..."?
Spinelli (10:39:23 AM): Ooh — that's a good one
Spinelli (10:39:50 AM): Someone's been reading their business consulting reports instead of surfing porn
Wert (10:40:00 AM): That was me!
Spinelli (10:40:17 AM): Well, you're a multitasker
Wert (10:40:33 AM): What can I say? It's just how I roll.
Spinelli (10:41:11 AM): Seriously, what can we ask?
Wert (10:41:31 AM): Fuck if I know...readers — any thoughts?
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Spinelli (10:47:46 AM): Is it almost done?
Wert (10:47:54 AM): I want it to be.
Wert (10:48:13 AM): I feel like GM's picking the world's least "important" journalists to ask questions from.
Wert (10:48:23 AM): Is there such a thing?
Wert (10:48:38 AM): An "important" journalist?
Spinelli (10:49:21 AM): "Yes, hi. Todd Francisco from the Central Indiana Bee Examiner and Video Rental..."
Wert (10:49:42 AM): No, that's silly — Todd's already asked his question.
Wert (10:50:23 AM): Yay! Here's one! Mike Ellis, Detroit Free Press!
Spinelli (10:50:31 AM): "Hi, Dave Dayve from the Weekly World Car News."
Wert (10:50:40 AM): And he asks the dumbest question ever.
Spinelli (10:50:42 AM): Freep in da Haus!
Spinelli (10:50:47 AM): Great!
Wert (10:50:48 AM): "...is your progress sustainable?"
Wert (10:50:59 AM): Talk about a high fast one over the plate!
Spinelli (10:51:05 AM): Wha wha wha whaaaaaa
Wert (10:51:28 AM): Oh wait, no that was with a softball.
Wert (10:51:56 AM): Did I get my baseball analogy right?
Wert (10:52:10 AM): I was trying to say the question was WEAK!
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Wert (10:54:53 AM): Fritz: "...well, we don't use hope as a strategy..."
Wert (10:55:06 AM): Is that Ford using that as a strategy these days?
Wert (10:55:20 AM): And we're done.
Spinelli (10:55:27 AM): Just as I'd hoped
Wert (10:55:45 AM): Thanks everyone for joining us! We hope it was as boring for you as it was silly for us.
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