Turn off the lights. Crank up your computer’s volume. Sit down. Hit play. Hear drug lord Tuco Salamanca read the full warranty for the Nissan NV200 little cargo van.

Lose yourself in all the rolled ‚Äėr‚Äôs. Empty your mind. Think about rust protection. Play it again.

Let the madness take you.

Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.