Lincoln monster truck-amino-limo wants to haul your assets

Illustration for article titled Lincoln monster truck-amino-limo wants to haul your assets

When I retire at 80, and take over some family land outside of Branson, I'm going to open a museum dedicated to American consumer innovation. It'll have fill-your-own Combos machines, a video tribute to Billy Mays and this Lincoln monster truck-amino limo, with nothing but Lee Greenwood on the stereo.


Currently for sale upon the bays of E, the Lincoln resides in Winona, Minn., where a limo sales company has been trying to unload it for some time. Built from the frame of an 1988 F-150 that had been put on the rack to meld with the body of a '88 Town Car limo, the Linconsaurus had its metal top replaced by a canvas unit and "working limo amenities," like a lit holder for cut-glass decanters and what looks like the best sound system O'Reilly's keeps in stock.

The choice of a velour seating area may make some buyers think passengers shouldn't wear anything less revealing than a Level B hazmat suit, but the sellers maintain cloth was the only choice for all-season operation, as there's a heater back there for riding home after prom with your cousins. Sure there's a little surface rust, but there's enough shiny diamond plate to distract any wandering eye.

While the bidding on eBay has been paltry, the motivated buyer can order direct for just $15,500. From the lakes of Minnesota, to the Hooters in Tennessee, across the hot tubs of Texas, from sea to shining hep-C, God bless the U.S.A.



The Branson joke is weak, you should leave that to Dan Neil. Did you not notice that the Cobra that sold the other day, featured here, was at the Branson Auto Auction?