It’s April Fool’s time again! And all the car #brands are in on it. Normally most of these are bad. But this one is good, kind of, even if it’s an unintentional send-up of Lexus drivers.
Lexus announced today that it has has a new feature for “all models” called Lane Valet Using vehicle-to-vehicle (V2V) technology, Lexus says the tool “will connect to the car ahead and shift the vehicle into the correct lane,” solving the perpetual crisis of left-lane hogs who drive slow as shit. But this is a joke, a very obvious one.
“Lane Valet was conceived by top Lexus engineers who understand the importance of safe and steady driving conditions,” said Brian Bolain, Lexus product and consumer marketing’s general manger, in a statement about a feature that is not real whatsoever, and is a real human? Who can say.
“An appropriate vehicle speed without excessive braking offers optimal fuel efficiency, better traffic flow and decreased driver frustration. We’re just trying to give everyone the best possible driving experience.”
A Lexus spokesperson confirmed the company went ahead and issued the press release a day early, because April Fool’s falls on a Saturday this year, and us auto writers need some Things to put into our Blogs and Tweets.
Thing is, it’s not a bad idea at all! Who the fuck wouldn’t want to magically control a slow car in front of you and “initiate a careful but prompt lane change” for them.
The slow driver’s right turn signal will illuminate as the system confirms the adjacent lane is clear of other vehicles or obstructions. Lane Valet will then carefully deposit the unhurried driver into the right lane before disengaging, thus allowing others in the lane to continue moving at their previous pace.
Fuck those people. Stay out of the left lane.
Lexus says this would all be accomplished with V2V gear, some radar, and lane monitoring tech. And sure, this thing is a joke, but, taken literally, it’s kind of funny. V2v is pretty limited—at least for now—so taking Lexus at its word, it’d seem to mean Lexus owners could only deploy Lane Valet with other Lexuses. In other words, Lexus is dunking on Lexus owners. Nice.
But it’s all in good fun. March Fool’s, everyone.