Lancia Delta Integrale Evo I, Tucker Sno-Cat, Cagiva Elefant: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Remember last week, when I said that everyone posts their wildest vehicles on Marketplace during my off weeks? Well, it turns out those weeks don't have to be an off week for Dopest — just for me. I took some time on either side of this long weekend, and every person in the world took the opportunity to list some of the best cars I've ever seen.

We've got fire trucks, we've got sno cats, we've got Miatas and Lancias and Ducati-powered dirt bikes. Come one, come all, get a glimpse of the finest automobiles this side of the Mississippi. Also, the other side, because I somehow got my Facebook Marketplace radius to get really wide. Welcome to Dopest Cars.

I talked earlier today about how much Miatas should cost, and this seems to be as close to fair as the market gets right now. The golden number is still $5,000, but this one has truly low mileage for its age and claims a recent mechanic restoration. Fair enough.

Oddly, this '90 model has the interior wood you'd expect from an M Edition — a special edition that the Miata didn't get until years later. Perhaps that was all part of the claimed restoration.

Honda Africa Twin, my beloved. I've ridden the later AT before, the CRF1100, but this earlier CRF1000 still promises to be an absolute blast to ride — and a much lower cost, too.

I've never loved the all-red Honda livery, but it's just a weird quirk of how the company is split here in the States. Honda Blue is cars, while Honda Red is everything else — powersports, generators, the whole deal. Take a look at the dealerships sometime, you'll never unsee it.

C'mon, I don't need to sell you on this one. It's a Martini-liveried Delta Integrale Evo. You're a person of taste, you know the deal here. Moving on.

I shouldn't need to sell you on a Hilux Surf with massive turbo decals either, but not all of us have such impeccable taste. That's okay, that's why I'm here — to show you the things you didn't know you needed.

Look at those split tri-spoke wheels. Look at the clean interior. Look at the turbodiesel under the hood. I'm not sure how this car stayed in such mint condition over the last few decades, but I'm glad it did.

Hey, that's not snow. That's grass. This is a grass-cat. Gras-Cat? To keep the missing letter? I'll workshop it and get back to you.

If you're a skier or snowboarder, though, you're familiar with the massive snow-moving machines that comb the trails and ensure all that fresh overnight powder feels like shit by the time you actually get to the mountain. Did you know you can just own one? America rules.

This 911 may not include an "engine" or "transaxle," but y'know what it does include? An adapter to a Chevy small block or 4.3-liter V6. What's being adapted, if there's no transaxle? Who knows! Motor mounts, maybe?

I was going to talk about how good of a bit it would be to throw a Chevy Express V6 into a 911, but Google reminded me that the 4.3 was turbocharged in the Syclone and Typhoon. That would honestly be an incredibly cool build, and I hope one of you does it to what's left of this SC.

If you're the kind of prepper who likes to think about doomsday vehicles, skip the Cybertruck and just buy this: The oldest Honda you can still buy new. Narrow for cutting through woods or city streets, tall for clearing obstacles and long-lived thanks to decades of replacement parts — it can't be beat.

Unless, of course, you're prepping for the kind of apocalypse in which literally any part of the gasoline supply chain shuts down. In that case, go get a Zero or a Surron or something. The wind and the sun won't stop when the refineries do.

The title of this ad is, in full, "The car is a 1978 camaro z28 4 speed sorry for wrong info." The period is included. The body only says "Solid car needs floor panels," which leaves me wondering what the wrong info is here.

Is the car secretly a 1979? Are the floor panels actually perfectly fine? Does the seller not know you can delete text you've already written with the Backspace key? Top ten questions science still can't answer.

If your tastes in burgundy F-body performance cars from 1978 run a little more detailed, here's the other end of the ad copy spectrum. It goes something like this:

78 trans am. 400 motor with automatic 350 turbo transmission. The video is from before I cleaned and painted the front end. I also have the hood and shaker. Very solid and mostly clean. I've done alot to this beautiful car. Repaired the few small rust spots on the floor board and trunk. Took the front end off and cleaned/painted the frame and whatnot. Redid brakes all around. New carb, I also have the holley carb it came with, needs refurb. New gas tank. New starter . New transmission modulator. New brakes lines. The frame is solid and clean. It needs a new rocker on passenger side. The interior needs to be finished, no I don't have any of the pieces or seats. It's really close to it's former glory, however my health unfortunately had other plans and I cannot finish. I just want to turn the page. Cash of course is king, I will however consider trades just no projects. Another muscle type car preferably but who knows. Let me know thanks

If you're selling a car, this is probably the way to go about doing it.

The seller of this Willys knows a very interesting amount about the Jeep. They don't know whether it's military or civilian, but they do know the fuel tank is full of antifreeze. They can't fix it, though. That's on you.

What fascinates me most are the tire chains. The tires are clearly old and worn, but the chains oughta add some traction back to the party. Are they snow chains? Does it snow in West Virginia?

This bus doesn't have an engine or transmission, but I actually think that's a benefit. Look at this little guy — it shouldn't need hydrocarbon-aided propulsion. This is a vehicle that should be exclusively moved via Flintstone locomotion.

I can't fathom why someone would cut down a VW Bus, but I'm so glad they did. This is a friend! A lil guy! I love him and would happily lay down my life for him.

The 280Z has to be the least-loved of the S30s, right? Everyone wants the 240, they accept the 260, but no one ever thinks about the 280. This, I think, is a crime.

The 280 is every bit as pretty as any other S30, so long as you pull those bumpers off. You totally can, by the way. That's legal.

You need a little baby fire truck. You probably shouldn't use it to fight actual fires, unless you're trained for that sort of thing and can figure out how to plug this Nissan into American fire hydrants, but you could use it to fight the greatest fire of all: Boredom.

Run this thing through your town, and watch every child light up like they've seen a thousand ice cream trucks. You think a little frozen Spongebob is gonna hold a candle to this? Not a chance.

Did you know that the DesertX owes its lineage to this Ducati-engined dirt bike built for Dakar? Well, now you do. That's a fun fact that you can bring to parties and wow people who will definitely know what you mean when you say "Cagiva Elefant. No not spelled like that."

Are these bikes reliable? Easy to find parts for? Don't worry about it. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to.

Does your house have flames on it? No? I didn't think so.