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Lamborghini Will Come To Your House To Prove It Didn't Cheat On The Nürburgring If That's What It Takes

The Lamborghini Huracán Performante in question. Photo Credit: Freddy Hernandez/Jalopnik
The Lamborghini Huracán Performante in question. Photo Credit: Freddy Hernandez/Jalopnik

Lamborghini is not taking you Internet “experts” lightly when you say that the Italians faked their Huracán Performante Nürburgring production car lap record. Lamborghini has video. Lamborghini has data. Lamborghini will waltz right into your basement and shove it all in your face if it has to.

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To recap, Lamborghini last week claimed the Performante did the full ‘Ring lap in 6:52:01, quicker than the Porsche 918 Spyder’s record 6:57 run in 2013. But controversy immediately arose when critics—including racers with considerable experience at the ‘Ring—suggested the lap video’s speedo displays were fed by GPS data, not wheel speed. In addition, Pirelli admitted the car ran on bespoke tires for the effort.

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So it was on Lambo to prove the lap was legit, and that’s what they did with CNET Roadshow today, giving the outlet full GPS telemetry of its hotly-debated lap.

Image from Nick Miotke/Roadshow
Image from Nick Miotke/Roadshow

Here’s what Roadshow got:

[...] There’s the sometimes glitchy speeds shown in the video. Reggiani confirmed that the speeds shown come from GPS, which can occasionally give inconsistent results.

Reggiani said that just looking at peak lap times in corners and straights only tells a small portion of the story. As any racer will tell you, quite often it isn’t top speed that matters, but how quickly your car gets there. The Performante has a lower top speed around the ‘Ring than the Aventador SV, for example, but it gets up to that speed far quicker, and carries more speed out of the corners.

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Also, as for the tires, RoadShow says that Pirelli Trofeo R rubber will be available as an option on the car. They’re not just magic bullshit tires no one can ever use.

Head over to CNET Roadshow to read more, but the point is Lamborghini did this right on the Geneva Motor Show floor. Lamborghini does not care about convention. Lamborghini will tear this whole building down. Lamborghini will erect a 30-story billboard in its place with a hundred-foot screen playing the lap on loop, full audio, spotlights picking out passers-by and blinding their eyes until they gaze up at Lamborghini’s run.

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Lamborghini is not here to play. Lamborghini is here to win.

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.

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DISCUSSION

Lamborghini will fight you. Lamborghini will fight your whole goddamn peasant family. Did you look at Lamborghini wrong? Who do you think you are? Lamborghini brought a goddamn laptop to the fight. Lamborghini is recording this. Lamborghini is going to use a f*cking satellite to quantify the speed, acceleration, and impact force of every kick and punch it lands on your weak, worm-like flesh, and then it’s going to wait for you to get better, rebuild your life, find love, have children, raise them until they’re old enough to take college physics, and then come to their house with spreadsheets that explain mathematically how bad you got your ass kicked.

What’s that? You had a stupid kid? You think that will save you, you son of a bitch? No. Lamborghini is getting him a tutor. Lamborghini is going to stay up all night helping your idiot spawn cram for the AP test. Lamborghini will send that imbecile to private school if that’s what it takes for them to develop the cognitive skill to fully comprehend how goddamn wrong daddy was. Lamborghini is not fucking around here.