Aston Martin is great. James Bond is great. Combined, they make for the worst, most godawful, shameless branding exercise we’ve seen this side of a Bill Blass edition Lincoln. The new Aston Martin DB9 GT James Bond Edition is a travesty, and James Bond would never drive it.

Here are the things you get in your Aston Martin DB9 GT James Bond Edition, in addition to an Aston Martin DB9 GT:

  • Silver paint
  • Badges, plenty of James Bond badges
  • Wheels that looks like lots of other wheels
  • Sill plates with the James Bond logo on it
  • Some luggage
  • A watch
  • “A special Bond Edition start-up screen on the new model’s AMi II touch-sensitive Aston Martin infotainment system”
  • That’s pretty much it

It’s the most sad, depressing amalgamation of random bits and baubles that has ever besmirched an Aston. If Q presented the James Bond Edition to James Bond, he’d be fired on the spot immediately.

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Remember, this is an Aston Martin, built to evoke James Bond. Mr. Bond has traditionally favored Astons (but also other cars) and he’s going to drive one in an upcoming movie, but he doesn’t drive Astons that have his own name on it.

Because he doesn’t need his own name on it. He’s cool enough as it is. If he went around telling people “LOOK HOW COOL I AM,” he wouldn’t be Very Cool at all. And Astons come from the same vein. Put on a tuxedo, get in your Aston, and you are cool. Invite a gentleman or lady caller into your car, and all that magic instantly vanishes the moment you point out to them the “special Bond Edition start-up screen” on the infotainment system.

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Not when you show them the non-existent ejector seat. Not when you show them the lasers that don’t come out of the (admittedly pretty!) watch.

Luckily, since you can afford the £165,000 price tag, you can probably also afford to pay their medical bills as they jump out of the moving vehicle.

On the other hand, good on Aston Martin for embracing (and hopefully profiting from) the most obvious product tie-in/special edition car in existence. We all got bills to pay, right?


Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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