Here on planet Jalopnik, gravity doesn t suck quite as much as it does elsewhere. When we decided to choose a Car of the Year, we knew our award could never share the pseudo-objective gravitas of our distinguished colleagues attaboys. (Or, as Farago put it, fuck that shit.) So, after a particularly perspicacious puddle of consciousness conference call, we established a format which reflects our unifying passion for all things automotive, while maintaining our complete disdain for journalistic pretension. Here s the deal
Farago, Spinelli and Johnson (A Dickensian law firm if ever there wasn t one) will each profile their favorite car of the [calendar] year. There s only one caveat: each scribe must have actually driven the car in 05. Then, you, our silver-tongued surfers, select your favorite car from our favorite cars in a Jalopnik poll. Obviously, we respectfully request that you refrain from all that clever geekery that allows you to waltz around the One Man, One Vote, One Schnapps at a Time rule like a nitrous-crazed groupie of the great Johann Straus II.
And the nominees are
Porsche Boxster (987)
Despite his increasing inability to secure gainful employment in the mainstream media (nothing to do with his Between the Lines columns we re sure), Farago has had the privilege of sampling many of 05 s greatest adrenal gland squeezers. He chose the new Boxster because they wouldn t give me a Cayman.
Ferrari F430
Spinelli is not your average Ferrari connoisseur. For one thing, the F430 is the only Ferrari he s ever driven. But we re thinking you don t have to bump uglies with Carmen Electra to know if you like doing the horizontal mambo with Jessica Biel. Anyway, Spinelli chose the F430 because what are you, nuts?
Dodge Charger R/T
Davey G. Johnson is an endearingly enigmatic character (i.e. our favorite non-Cadbury flake). We reckon the Dodge Charger R/T is a perfect reflection of Johnson s predilection for expecting the unexpected, then expectorating excellent editorial about the experience (ex. post facto). Yes, well, Johnson chose the Charger because he's got fond memories of "canoodling with foreign and exotic women in pushrod-V8, rear-drive American cars .
And there you have it. Farago s up first. If you have any comments, questions or criticisms about the selection process or the individual cars, please use the comments section at the appropriate time. (Those of you who don t have a golden ticket to our wonky posting system are once again invited to apply.) Meanwhile, thanks for your support in 05. Sure, we could ve done it without you, but what would have been the point of that?
Related:
Honda Civic Nabs 2006 Motor Trend Car of the Year [internal]