Jaguar Might Be Doing Away With Its Supercharged V6 Models; Everything Is Bad; There Is No God

Illustration for article titled Jaguar Might Be Doing Away With Its Supercharged V6 Models; Everything Is Bad; There Is No God
Photo: Jaguar

Guys, I need help. I heard something highly distressing today about how Jaguar might do away with its lovely, incredible, perfect supercharged V6 engines. I don’t think my heart could take it if it did.

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The horrible news comes via Autocar, which alleges that Jag has killed off the XE S and XF S, both of which use the 3.0-liter supercharged V6.

From the story:

The brand blamed the move on poor sales and changes in emission regulations.

While there is no word from Jaguar yet, it’s highly likely that the V6 unit will also be dropped from other models, including the XJ and F-Pace. The V6 F-Type is likely to remain, though, since its low-volume numbers could potentially be exempt from the emission changes.

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Well... at least the F-Type might stay. That’s good.

If true, this is simply a tragedy. That supercharged six was the engine you wanted. Sure, the four-cylinder is fine, just fine, and the V8 is simply awesome, but it was also, at times, too much. Too much engine, too much power. That V6 was a great middle ground. Goldilocks would have been pleased with it.

And it sounded awesome.

It’s unclear if Autocar’s story just concerns models in the UK or includes the U.S. as well.

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We’ve reached out to Jaguar for confirmation and will update if we hear back.

Update 4:22 p.m. EST: A Jaguar spokesperson declined to comment on future product plans, but supplied that the V6 is still available in the 2018 XE, XF, XJ, F-Type and F-Pace.

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.

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DISCUSSION

While I understand and empathize with your sadness, I don’t think I’d go quite as far as to say that everything is bad. I have compiled a short list of things that are good:

  1. Sabaton. A Swedish power metal band whose songs are usually about historic battles, wars, and the general concept of war. No matter what needs conquering, this music will make you feel like you can conquer it.
  2. A good batch of homemade brownies. You don’t need a box of brownie mix; making them yourself is really quite easy, and much more rewarding. If you’re feeling extra fancy, top them off with some homemade fudge frosting.
  3. The weather in Texas right now. You can’t say this often, but it feels genuinely pleasant outside here in Dallas.
  4. Friends. People who know you very well, and choose to hang out with you anyway.
  5. One-Punch Man. Marathon it with a bunch of friends and see how long it takes for them to start singing along with the theme song. It’s only 12 episodes, so it’s totally doable in a single day.

I recommend that you experience as many of these things as possible. Hopefully that will provide you some consolation. Don’t get me wrong; it’s OK to be sad, but this level of sadness might be unhealthy.