Jagermeister Porsche 924, Honda Civic Ute, Pierce Fire Truck: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Folks, let's get weird for a minute. I've driven a plethora of very normal vehicles lately, and that simply cannot stand without a counterpoint. We have got to get stranger, and I think I know just how to do it.

Facebook, clearly, has the answer to our problems. It's the singular repository for the world's weird automotive shit, all the things you'd never find on a dealership floor. Simply put, it's where we'll find the weirdest, Dopest Cars. 

Porsche's Jagermeister livery is truly underrated among race cars. Orange, as a whole, really doesn't see enough use. It's a good color, especially with paint-matched wheels, and deserves its day.

The car it's on here, too, deserves respect. A 924 with a 1.8T swap, a one-piece nose, and a seam-welded chassis — this isn't someone's tacky home build, this is a full-on race car. You're not likely to see another car like this any time soon.

Nor will you find a bike like this. This was, at some point, a Suzuki GSX250R — perhaps the best-looking entry-level Japanese sportbike, despite being the slowest and worst-handling of the segment. This particular example, however, is... not that.

The best way to summarize this bike is to say that both the frame and exhaust have been chopped up, and there's a tequila bottle that's been made integral to the vehicle's function. Honestly, at this point, lean into it. Chop the swingarm down and make this the tiny streetfighter of your dreams.

There is absolutely no police station in the United States that would still use a 30-year-old Caprice, and yet if you drove up to me in this V8 sedan with the spotlight blaring I would immediately begin exercising my right to remain silent. This is the most cop that any car has ever been.

The Caprice is, in fact, a former police interceptor, but the former part of that feels questionable. This seems like the kind of car that turns its occupant into a cop automatically, like if Gregor Samsa awoke from fitful dreams as a pig instead of a bug.

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no — I have no idea why or how someone would make this. I don't even know who, based on the ad, which I'll paste here in full:

It was a 4 door civic we modified to a pick up truck as you can see in picture everything works a/c all electrical works am asking 5k obo any question inbox me

Surely that's all the detail a buyer could want, right? They wouldn't want to know id the rear window leaks, or what the chassis flex is like, or whether the rear end even has a tailgate that opens. Nope, just that "we" did the conversion. This rocks, but I need more info.

This, on the other hand, needs no explanation. It's a Daihatsu Mira van with a ton of glass and bus doors. It's perfect, it's my close personal friend, and I love it like a member of my own family.

This little guy is just $7,0000! Think of all the fun you could have with him. You could go on adventures, pick up hitchhikers, ferry people and things to and fro with reckless abandon. I imagine driving this Mira is the closest any living person can get to the feeling of living in a Wes Anderson movie.

Friends, Romans, countrymen, heed me now: We gotta stop with the matte black. I know you think it looks sinister or badass or militaristic or something, but it just looks like you hit your car with rattlecan primer and then decided that the project was done, actually. It looks bad.

This Cobra is a particularly heinous example, given that the exhaust, wheels, and roll hoop all match. Even the interior is black. Someone took such a beautiful design, the Cobra, and made it look like its textures haven't loaded yet. Buy this car and repaint it, please.

You read that correctly — beneath all the custom work, this appears to be Honda's latest entry-level dual-sport bike. One cylinder, 150 approachable cubic centimeters of displacement, and the ground clearance to tackle most things you're liable to actually try and cross.

This XR150L, however, has been worked over by a shop called AZFER. The company is based in Mexico, which makes one wonder how this bike ended up for sale in Ohio, but all the shop's custom designs seem to focus on smallbore Hondas. It's honestly extremely sick.

Folks, you know me, I'm a sucker for a good Datsun Z. They're some of the best-looking cars ever penned by human hands, and nearly every one has rusted into oblivion. This one isn't really an exception.

It is, however, an exception in another way: The engine. Gone is the L24, but it hasn't been replaced with the RB or LS you might expect. Instead, an SR20 sits beneath the hood of this Z, ready to haul it around with turbo power until the rust finally eats through what's left of the metal. I think you've got at least a couple months left.

I genuinely can't tell if this Opel has more or less time left on its clock than the Z. It's got more rust by surface area, it seems, but the rust itself looks to be more surface level. Place your bets now as to which one lasts longer, we just also ask that you buy one or both of the cars to ensure we can watch the results.

This Opel may not have "seats" or "a title," but it's got style in spades. Can you really ask for more at this price point? Strip it out and throw any engine inside, what matter is that shape.

It's been so long since I saw anodized, extended lug nuts on a cat, that I honestly worried they'd been discontinued. People still run the spikes, I know, but I feel like I haven't seen this style in a decade. There's something heartening in knowing they're still out there.

I don't know that a Tercel wagon would be anyone's first choice for a bagged Toyota with not-Takata harnesses and Japanese student-driver stickers, but I love that someone did this with this chassis. Love the car you have, or turn it into a car you can love, right?

The Honda Rune is about the least Amber bike out there, in terms of style and general vibe, but I so appreciate the fact that it exists. It's made purely for aesthetic purposes, it's uncompromised in the designer's vision of what they thought would be cool.

Is it cool? Well, that's up to you. The idea of a flat-six cruiser intrigues me, sure, but that's about the most credit I'll give the Rune in matters of taste. It's not up to me, though — if this is your thing, you won't find a bike that does it better.

This isn't the Charger you want, I know. You want the '68, and this isn't that. The cabin shape is all different, even if the front end looks the same, and this isn't the car that will let you live out your Dukes of Hazzard dreams.

But, how attached to those dreams are you? Chargers from 1968 are stupidly expensive, and here's a muscular Charger you can get for just ten grand. Is that not enough? How much are those three model years worth to you?

This is some real He'll Yeah Borther energy if ever I've seen it. Marty McFly's dream four-by-four, done up in American guise as a Chevy dually. It's about 16 times the size of McFly's SR5, likely drinks a gallon of fuel per mile driven, and it's beautiful.

The seller claims this C30 is powered by a 327 cubic inch V8 out of a Corvette with a four-speed manual transmission, which is almost a fantastic enough combination to overshadow how bad those wheels are. Almost. Change them out.

The seller of this dune buggy doesn't specify a make or model for the kit, and honestly I couldn't tell you what it is either. Initial impression would say Meyers Manx, but I've never seen a front end quite like this on a Manx — in fact, I've never seen a front end like this at all.

The chopped off corners on the grille, the center headlight, this little buggy is weird. The seller claims it doesn't run, needing a battery and a tune-up, but you can make it work. You should, because whatever this is, it's worth saving.

We've had a few fire trucks in Dopest recently, and the trend isn't stopping any time soon. Did you not love fire trucks as a kid? Did you not picture yourself as a firefighter? Where's your sense of whimsy?

This truck is an oddity for its color alone, but the seller claims there's more to its uniqueness than that. Apparently, the frame on this truck has been extended in order to fit a since-removed attenuator, a device that keeps the truck OK if a car hits it. OKer, anyway. It's not magic.