I'm sure most of you know March Madness (not the breeding season for European Hares, the basketball one) officially begins tomorrow, and, of course, we at Jalopnik don't like car guys getting left out of anything, so here's our plan: We're going to do a March Madness tournament of our own.
Of course, being Jalopnik, we're not doing a basketball tournament. There's no cars involved at all! Not even a Zamboni! Instead, we're going to do a massive month-long showdown of the jocks of the car world: American muscle cars.
Here's how it'll work. We've picked 64 muscle cars, and divided them into four regions. We'll use the bracket down below for the pairings, and the "games" themselves will be handled via polls. Most votes in the poll wins the match, with the winner going on to next round. When it's all over, we'll have one triumphant muscle car winner, and, more importantly, the fans of 63 muscle cars — backfiring and leaking bittersweet coolant on the rug — as angry, bitter losers.
Since you're probably going to want to start doing your intense research, the full list, by region, is below, along with a picture of all of them, useful for wrapping paper. Matches start this Thursday at noon, so fill in your brackets for your illegal pools today!
Zombie Region
(For cars who's companies have passed on)
1971 AMC Javelin SST
1970 AMC Machine
1970 AMC AMX
1980 AMC Spirit AMX
1976 AMC Gremilin X
1969 AMC Hurst SC/Rambler
1972 Plymouth Road Runner
1970 Plymouth Duster
1967 Plymouth GTX
1975 Mercury Comet
1970 Mercury Cougar Eliminator
1969 Mercury Cyclone GT
1970 Mercury Cyclone Spoiler
1969 Mercury Montego MX
1965 Pontiac Tempest
1968 Oldsmobile Cutlass 442
Classic Region
(For original, iconic examples of the genre that everyone's always on about)
1949 Oldsmobile Rocket 88
1950 Hudson Hornet
1955 Chrysler C-300
1957 Studebaker Silver Hawk
1967 Buick Wildcat
1972 Chevrolet Monte Carlo
1968 Chevrolet Camaro
1971 Chevrolet El Camino SS
1968 Pontiac GTO
1965 Chevrolet Corvair Monza Spyder
1966 Oldsmobile Toronado
1971 Dodge Charger (B-body)
1965 Plymouth Barracuda
1966 Shelby Cobra GT350
1969 Dodge Coronet Super Bee
1964 Chevrolet Impala SS
Drag Queens
(Especially good at peeling out of a Dairy Queen)
1964 Ford Thunderbolt
1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS
1971 Dodge Challenger R/T
1969 Dodge Charger Daytona
1972 Dodge Dart Demon 340
1970 Plymouth Superbird
2009 Shelby Cobra GT 500KR
2011 Dodge Challenger SRT8
1969 Ford Boss 429
1973 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
1989 20th Anniversary Trans Am Pace Car
1975 Chevrolet Monza Mirage V8
2012 Chevrolet Camaro ZL1
1972 Ford Mustang Mach 1
1968 Dodge Hemi Dart
1966 Chevy II SS327
Rod Rage
(Fast, loud, angry)
1992 Ford Thunderbird SC
1973 Ford Maverick Grabber
1969 Ford Torino Talladega
1987 Buick GNX
1997 Pontiac Grand Prix GTP
2003 Ford Mustang SVT Cobra
2010 Shelby GT500 Super Snake
1970 Boss 302 Mustang
1967 Ford Galaxie 500
1970 Buick GSX
1977 Olsdmobile Delta 88 Indy Pace Car
2004 Roush Mustang GT
1975 Chevrolet Cosworth Vega
2002 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
1985 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS
1999 Plymouth Prowler
Muscle Car Madness is brought to you by Gumout.