I'll Tell You What You Need: You Need This Manual V12-Swapped BMW E34 M5

Studies reveal that millions of Americans every month waste time at work on Jalopnik. So where do Jalopnik writers waste their time at work? Bring A Trailer, of course. And when I took a break to ogle this gorgeous 2002 BMW M5, ex-Jalop supremo Matt Hardigree showed me how I can do one better: a Euro-spec 1993 BMW M5 with a V12 engine.

Astute BMW fans will quickly say that only the big 850CSi coupe came with the 5.6-liter S70B56 V12, not the smaller 5 Series sedan. And that is correct! But the mighty 12-cylinder motor found its way into this E34 via an engine swap.

Oh, and it has a manual too. How badly do you need this thing? I need it very badly.

From the original Rochester, NY Craigslist description:

The custom driveline was hand built by Brett Anderson from Koala Motorsport in Cleveland OH in December of 2008 when the car had 73,057 miles. Currently, the car has 79,823 miles. The S70B56 V12 motor originally came out of a 850CSi. The 6 speed manual OEM BMW Getrag 560G transmission was NEW at the time of the build!!

The car performs flawlessly. All of the mechanicals are in VERY good working order. The clutch is perfect, the motor has no leaks, the AC works as it should, the suspension is firm and precise. Recent service includes, oil/filter change, coolant flush, brake flush, new radiator, new alternator, new tie rods, new sway bar links, alignment, new rear dog bones pitman arms, new front brakes and a new battery. Only known issue is the radio does not work due to what is believed to be a bad amplifier.

The seller says the car now boasts 420 horsepower, a nice bump over the motor's stock 380 HP. It also has an upgraded suspension and brakes, the original tool kit, a trailer hitch and the bodies of one of the classiest and most understated BMW sedans ever built.

Plus, it's an M5 with 12 cylinders. Think of how incredible that is. Buy this car and you'll be able to roll up to E60 M5 owners, put down your window, and say with utter disdain, "Only 10 cylinders in your M5? Nice car... for poors."

Then you'll speed off in a cloud of V12-driven tire smoke, and everyone in your city will respect and admire you, because you are a hero.

You need this car, and so do I. The world deserves heroes. Let's give them their heroes again.

Hat tip again to BaT!