Image: All Images By Space10/Ikea

It’s probably an inevitability at this point that we’ll eventually get fully autonomous cars to work properly and people won’t have to drive anymore. It isn’t going to happen soon, but eventually it will be possible. The Brands want autonomy to happen more than drivers do, it seems, because it would be possible for humans to use that time they would have spent driving to be productive cogs in the machine or more fervent consumers. Annoyingly, Ikea’s future tech think tank Space10 is here to show us the hellscape that our roads could become if we allow something like this to happen.

Nobody really likes going to Ikea, right? But we like the ability to put our asses on all of their chairs. I’m sitting on an Ikea office chair right now, but there’s no way I would have bought it without being able to sit in it first. If they’d just had one of their annoyingly small tiny house spaces show up at my house for me to look at, I’d never have seen the wide array of weirdly shaped quasi-European chairs and found one I like.

So, do they have anything better for the future of mobility? How about a cafe on wheels? The last thing I want to do when I’m jonesing for a caffeine fix at 5AM is wait for a cafe to trundle on by. Coffee isn’t optional. I can’t just hope the coffee man drives by with a jaunty tune playing so I can run out like a child in the summer waving dollar bills at the ice cream truck. Coffee is serious business!

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Healthcare on wheels. Tech bros invented the ambulance.

Video games on wheels is an absurd idea. Space10 says that the augmented reality software can provide real-time content for the passenger that is geotagged to the vehicle’s surroundings. It seems like this kind of thing is wholly unnecessary. Game consoles keep getting more grandiose and expensive, but I’m perfectly entertained playing Super Mario Brothers.

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This one actually kind of makes sense, I suppose. It would be quite nice if I could go to sleep in one city and wake up in another. Travel would be so much more restful and I could vacation without needing to take entire days just to drive to places. But, sleeper trains and busses already exist.

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The only thing of actual value to society on this whole list is the vegetable market on wheels. There are plenty of low-income segments of large cities that are food deserts. Those communities could use a regular and reliable delivery of healthier foods. That said, autonomous transportation doesn’t exactly solve this problem. Food deserts exist as an economic byproduct of supply and demand. If people aren’t supplying healthy fruits and veg to these communities already, they certainly won’t buy an expensive piece of tech to facilitate such a transaction. Also, the hydroponic farm half of this vehicle is asinine.

And finally, the worst of the offenses of this seven vehicle list; the office on wheels. Pardon my French, but fuck this. It’s been a few years since I’ve worked in an office, but despite traffic being a nightmare, the last thing I want to do during my commute is more work. Commute time is your time. Don’t let your corporate overlords goad you into giving them more of your precious life. Rage against the system, man!

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What is it about tech bro culture that makes them want to reinvent things that already exist? read more about their absolutely bunk ideas by visiting space10.io. If today is the last day I ever hear “disrupting the space” it will have been too late.

H/T Jay Ramey - Autoweek