A box of human heads was stolen from a freight truck in Denver, Colorado last week. A whole box of human heads. Plural. Just sitting on a truck and then, poof, not there anymore. The box full of heads, I mean. The truck is still there, with less heads than before.
The achingly brief story first appeared in the Denver Post:
The incident happened between 2:30 p.m. Wednesday and 9:30 a.m. Thursday while the truck was parked in the 7700 block of E. 23rd Avenue, police said. The heads were supposed to be used for medical research purposes.
The blue and white box with a label reading “Exempt Human Specimen” was stolen from a freight company truck, police said, along with a dolly.
An investigation is ongoing. As of Saturday afternoon, no arrest had been made.
If you’ve ever read Mary Roach’s book Stiff: The Curious Lives Of Human Cadavers, you’ll likely recall the scene where future plastic surgeons are practicing facelifts on disembodied human heads. Sometimes, when you’re doing science or learning medicine, a whole body just gets in the way. Hence, the heads.
It had to be a big box, for multiple heads to be in one box. No wonder the thief needed the dolly as well. Maybe there were only two in one box? Still, like, an average human head measures around 21 or 22 inches in diameters and weighs around 11 pounds intact. Plus you have to add in some sort of individual wrapping to protect the heads from being damaged against the other head(s?) What I’m saying is, you’d need a big box, right? A big box that was clearly labeled, according to the Post. The report doesn’t say anything else was stolen. This may have been a targeted scheme specifically designed for the stealing of heads.
So if you’re in the Denver area keep an eye out for either a dumped box or some loose heads. If you spot either, be a nosy neighbor and give Denver police a heads-up. They won’t think it cheeky or raise their eyebrows in the least. Honestly, a tip on this high-brow caper would be a huge weight off their shoulders. I’m not sure the culprit will ever face justice.