Photo Credit: Suzuki

I’m not a motorcyclist, but I try to be an advocate for them. When I’m out driving I respect bikes and give them a safe distance. I don’t tailgate or change lanes around them suddenly. It’s the least I can do for our friends on two wheels. This is doubly true for owners of the Suzuki Hayabusa: if I see you on one of those, I absolutely will do whatever it takes to stay the fuck away from you.

This is because if you ride Suzuki’s 1300cc, nearly-200 mph big beef machine, I assume that you are someone who believes he is God’s own enchanted speed boy who can never die; that you’ve never ridden the ‘Busa below 110 mph except when coming to the occasional and regrettable stop; that you regard other cars and bikes as stationary objects; and that if you haven’t crashed it yet, you’re probably going to.

Sorry. It’s just that I’ve never ever seen a Hayabusa on the road that wasn’t running up on cars at 30 over the posted highway speed limit, while dressed in regular jeans and maybe a windbreaker. So when I see a Hayabusa, I politely signal, change lanes, slow way down and hang back as far as I can until the Hayabusa is far ahead of me to meet its final fate elsewhere.

Maybe you aren’t like that! Maybe you’re a perfectly nice and upstanding member of society and you own a Hayabusa. Maybe you’ve even voted in an election, because you don’t in fact have a felony criminal record that prevents you from doing so. Cool! I’m just saying most Hayabusa owners probably aren’t like you.

And as a driver, in a car, I want nothing to do with it. Sorry!

I recently had an encounter with a Hayabusa, driving upstate with my wife in the Kia Stinger GT. I was shocked to see it. I couldn’t even remember the last time I saw one on the road; frankly, I had assumed all the Hayabusa owners died sometime in the mid-2000s.

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Anyway! When I saw the Hayabusa and its denim- and t-shirt-clad rider, weaving between cars in the far right lane, I said “no thanks” and slowed to change lanes and get out of his way. He blasted off when he got his opening, his Yoshimura exhaust leaving our eardrums ringing. I believe I could see the Hayabusa kanji tattooed on his calf.

This is how I handle Hayabusa owners. If you are a car-driver, I suggest you do the same.