I Wish Dodge Actually Made The Trucks They Show In This Commercial

Truck YeahThe trucks are good!

Have you ever been joking around about something, and somehow, though you didn’t intend it at all, the joke you made turned out to be a better idea than whatever the hell you were trying to make fun of? I think that’s sort of what’s happening here in this late ‘80s Dodge Ram 50 commercial.

Here, you’ll see what I mean:

I kind of like all of those mutated versions of the rebadged Mitsubishi Triton that Dodge rebadged as the 50. I’m a fan of small ‘80s pickups as it is, and if there was actually this kind of variety in body styles, the world would have been even better.

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This tall-cab one would be so airy and roomy to drive, and would probably make a good ersatz Popemobile the next time the Pontiff hit you up for a ride.

The big-ass hood one sacrifices some visibility, but sure as hell gives the truck a rugged, tough demeanor, as well as likely being a dream to work on, with all that headroom in the engine compartment. Also, 90 freaking horsepower! What is that engine from, a cruise ship?

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Also, I feel like that grille/fascia design is pretty much where modern trucks are now.

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The massive bed one seems sort of great, too. It’d be like having the best of both a truck and a van, especially if there was a bed cover offered as an option.

This truck came out in 1987; given the state of computer graphics and special effects of that era, I strongly think that actual trucks were modified to look like these! I wonder if these three truckly mutants are sitting in some warehouse somewhere outside of Detroit, just waiting for some brave soul to restore them and make them into the best fleet of small trucks you can imagine.

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I think I want the massive cab one.

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About the author

Jason Torchinsky

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus • Not-so-running: 1973 Reliant Scimitar, 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!)