All image credits: Porsche

The 2020 Porsche 911 online configurator is live, which means you can now happily lose about half an hour of your day browsing through options for your new, theoretical Carrera S or Carrera 4S.

The configurator, as all other Porsche configurators are, has more choices than a standard diner menu. I started off by painting my big, beefy German Carrera S Lava Orange ($3,270) because I love bright colors. There’s plenty of time to be mundane when you’re dead.

Wheels! Wheel time. I think wheels are super important, as they take up a lot of visual real estate when you look at a car’s profile. Out of the four available options, I went with the RS Spyder Design ($2,540) set because they look like metallic spiderwebs and remind me of Halloween.

I’m not a heathen and I would like something more than a bucket to sit on in my new 911. So I went with the 14-way Power Sport Seats with Memory Package ($2,330). I don’t need seats with 18-way because neither of these seats is going to help me see over the hood of the car any better. Might as well save that extra grand for something else. I may be fancy, but I am still practical.

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On the outside, I left pretty much everything else alone, except I did Delete the Model Designation ($0) because I am a class act and I don’t need people knowing which model 911 I have. Also, I checked the box for a Rear Wiper ($370) because I find this to be a very nice luxury.

Since there isn’t a manual option yet, I was forced to take the 8-Speed PDK ($0). I also chose the Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control ($3,170) because I tested that out in the 718 Cayman GTS and it was goddamn amazing. Yes to the Rear Axle Steering ($2,090), the Sport Exhaust System with Tailpipes in Black (like my soul) ($2,950) and the Porsche Ceramic Composite Brakes ($8,970). I don’t actually need the brakes, I just wanted the yellow calipers to go with the orange paint. I’m going for a Charizard aesthetic here, you see.

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And in a stroke of dissonance, I gave the car both the Porsche Active Suspension Management ($1,020), which lowers it by 10mm and the Front Axle Lift System ($2,770) because I want it lower but I also don’t want it scraping on anything.

I’m not the biggest fan of driver assistance systems, but I do appreciate ParkAssist ($1,430), Lane Keep Assist ($1,220) and Adaptive Cruise Control ($2,000).

Inside, I have the Ionizer ($400) for when the world ends and the air is filled with ash, Seat Ventilation ($840) for sweaty butts and the Seat Belts in Lizard Green ($540) because that’s the color that goes best with orange and yellow.

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All told, my Charizard Carrera S came out to $150,260. Can you do better? Visit the configurator here.