I’m really not the biggest Fernando Alonso fan out there, but that didn’t matter when the Spanish Formula One driver walked past me at the Indianapolis 500. I was no match for his dreamy aura.

There I was, minding my own business near pit lane at Indianapolis Motor Speedway, when what felt like a powerful pressure wave nearly knocked me on my ass. After regaining my footing, I felt myself let out an audible gasp.

Nobody else around me seemed fazed, but my memory from the previous 10 seconds had been wiped. What had just happened? Keen to figure it out, I frantically scanned the premises to see if I could spot an anvil that someone on the balcony might have dropped. But I found exactly zero anvils. What I did find was Fernando Alonso:

I wasn’t entirely sure if my bout of amnesia was related to the two-time Formula One champion (who was now walking in the opposite direction), but this seemed suspicious. So, to figure out what was going on, and whether I needed to see a doctor, I headed down pit lane to see if I could replicate my “incident.”


It wasn’t long before I learned that my suspicions were right, because as soon as I laid eyes on Fernando Alonso suiting up, I experienced the feeling of being hit by an enormous Mack truck once again. Never before have a seen a man with a more powerful, dreamy aura:

I mean, just look at the man’s hair after he took off the baseball cap. Have you ever seen a case of “hat hair” this good? I’d give anything if I could take off a baseball cap and have even somewhat presentable hair. I’m not sure how this is even possible.


And don’t think I’m the only weirdo so affected by Alonso’s presence (trust me, you would be, too). Just look at this guy getting in really close to try to get a little sniff of what I’m sure is the finest smelling IndyCar driver ever. He fainted immediately after this photo.


I’m only somewhat jealous of Alonso Smelling Guy. Only somewhat.