All image credits: Kristen Lee/Jalopnik

Nineteen cupholders. Nineteen cupholders in a car that seats a maximum of eight people. That’s nearly 2.5 cupholders per occupant. Other publications, unaware of the importance of hydration, thought that perhaps this is too many cupholders. They are wrong.

It was the last media day of the LA Auto Show. Things had started winding down hours ago. There was hardly anybody left. Which was fine with me, because I had a very important mission and I didn’t want to have to stop and chat with people along the way: I had been tasked with seeking out all 19 of the big Subaru’s cupholders. I was to go and find a legend.

The white Ascent, pictured above, actually had a decent amount of dog hair still left over inside of it from its reveal. I thought that touch made it more authentic. Armed with my camera and a general sense of where designers usually put cupholders, I went to work.

The first two were easy enough to find: right in the center console.

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But then there were also an additional two on each front door.

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The middle armrest for the second row had a fold-down set of cupholders, but that would also mean that nobody could sit in the middle seat while they were being used. I didn’t know how to feel about that. Sacrificing a person for two drinks? Maybe, if they were Mexican Cokes.

The back doors had three cupholders apiece: one near the handle and two down below.

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The third row cupholders were located beneath the windows in the armrests. I counted two apiece back there and then stopped, confused: That made only 18. Where was the 19th one? I looked everywhere, including in the glovebox, beneath the seats and pulled down both sun visors. No dice.

Then I realized that one set of the third row cupholders actually had three instead of two. Success!

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There are three here! Tricky bitches.

My mission finally accomplished, I was able to keep my job. Thank you for reading.