Illustration for article titled I Figured Out What To Do With Ancient Classics When They Finish Going Out Of Style
Illustration: Andrew P Collins
Truck YeahThe trucks are good!

The classic car market is just as confused as the rest of the economy right now as society weathers the coronavirus pandemic, but one thing’s constant: Fashion is cyclical, and while ’80s and ’90s hardware’s hot right now, older muscle cars are becoming less appealing. That has me thinking even older stuff must be near the nadir of style. Then I saw Tom Ford’s tweet.

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That’s Top Gear alum auto journo Tom Ford, not fashion designer Tom Ford (I could see some confusion happening since I’m talking about “looks.”)

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Anyway, what Ford apparently couldn’t stop looking at, I think, was once a Chevy Master from the 1930s. I have to admit, I’m not too familiar with cars from this era and even a little casual research doesn’t clear it up for me. Frankly, a lot ’30s cars look really similar. (But maybe I’ll get lucky and a commenter will be able to peg it?)

I have to concur with Ford’s assessment of whatever the hell that matte-black monster is now though: Hard to stop looking at. What a beautiful beast. I mean, I would have liked to see a couple more inches of sidewall, but I suppose it’s alright if some tastes differ from mine.

If you look at Ford’s pictures for more than a second it’s plain to see that whatever this “car” once was, today it’s just a body mounted on a truck frame. I think I can see four shiny headers peeking out from behind that front right wheel. Let me guess, LS V8 power?

So here’s what I’m saying: As cars from the 1930s go out of style and fall into disrepair, instead of letting them rot in barns, what about evolving them into safari machines for the Fury Road? I wouldn’t actually suggest hacking up something as regal as a mint Packard like I did in my stupid Photoshop, but if you’re looking at an already-hotrodded Chevy or Ford and wondering what to do with it, could I interest you in slapping the body on a truck frame, fitting some huge tires, and riding eternal on the highways of Valhalla?

Reviews Editor, Jalopnik | 1975 International Scout, 1984 Nissan 300ZX, 1991 Suzuki GSXR, 1998 Mitsubishi Montero, 2005 Acura TL

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