Huge News: Stellantis Bestows Its Official Logo To The Peoples Of Earth

Illustration for article titled Huge News: Stellantis Bestows Its Official Logo To The Peoples Of Earth
Illustration: Stellantis/Jason Torchinsky

Everyone, everyone, gather ‘round because I have fantastic news. Stellantis, the company formed by the mergers of Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) and Groupe PSA (you know, the old Peugeot-Citroën) have unveiled its new logo to the world, and it only looks a little like a brand of tooth-whitener! Looks like everything’s gonna be okay now!

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Stellantis provided this deeply inspiring little animation of the new logo:

Go ahead, take a moment to catch your breath, and maybe even change your pants, which you’ve no doubt soaked with inspiration-urine.

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Here’s what the company has to say about it’s new logo, which, if you’re a filthy animal, looks pretty much like the old one but with a bunch of dots around the “/\” that’s filling in for an “A.” From the press release:

The logo symbolizes the rich heritage of Stellantis’ founding companies and the unique combined strengths of the new group’s portfolio of 14 storied automotive brands, as well as the diversity of professional backgrounds of its employees working in all of the regions. Along with the Stellantis name – whose Latin root “stello” means “to brighten with stars” – it is the visual representation of the spirit of optimism, energy and renewal of a diverse and innovative company determined to be one of the new leaders in the next era of sustainable mobility.

In case your curious here’s those 14 brands: Abarth, Alfa Romeo, Chrysler, Citröen, Dodge, DS, Fiat, Jeep, Lancia, Maserati, Opel, Peugeot, Ram, and Vauxhall.

I mean, that’s a lot of important marques in there! And, if you’re like most people and have always lamented you couldn’t buy a Jeep re-badged as a Vauxhall or a Citroën with RAM badging, this is fantastic news.

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Okay, just between you and me, I’m pleased that for the most part, the automotive world will not have to deal with this logo all that much, because it’s really pretty boring and does not feel like a carmakers’ logo at all, to me.

It feels like something out of the medical-dental or insurance industries, for some reason. I mean, look:

Illustration for article titled Huge News: Stellantis Bestows Its Official Logo To The Peoples Of Earth
Illustration: Stellantis/Crest/Jason Torchinsky
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That looks completely natural, doesn’t it?

So, yeah, congratulations, Stellantis. I look forward to the free tote bag with this logo on it I will one day accept from a car show.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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DISCUSSION

Ask your doctor if Stellantis is right for you. Side effects may include gas with oily discharge, premature oxidization and electrical dysfunction.