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How To Uncute Teddy Bear Wheels

Illustration for article titled How To Uncute Teddy Bear Wheels

Ronal’s teddy bear wheels are a signpost on our culture’s march towards all-encompassing cuteness. But there’s a simple way to turn them into ursine wheels of doom.

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All it takes is a liberal application of black paint with two strategic spots of red:

Illustration for article titled How To Uncute Teddy Bear Wheels
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The one remaining snag on the way to pure teddy evil is the wheel lock masquerading as a belly button. The blackest of paints will be inadequate to make that detail even slightly serious. You’d probably have to install a gun in there to complete the transformation. An Oerlikon autocannon should do the job.

Photo Credit: BustedFoxWaGeN, Jackson Allen

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DISCUSSION

jbh
Jonathan Harper

Mmm. Delving into the dark arts are we Peter?