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How Do You Plan On Getting To Your Polling Location?

Illustration for article titled How Do You Plan On Getting To Your Polling Location?

Unless you live in Utah, you've probably been subjected to political commercials, robocalls, fliers, emails and door knocks claiming that this or that candidate is a socialist or a right-wing nutjob. Assuming the media crush hasn't completely dissuaded you from participating in the democratic process, you're going to have to get out to the polls. What's your method of getting there? Will you take public transit like a pinko leftist? Will you drive up in a Confederate flag-draped Suburban like a redneck righty? Will you walk like our forefathers? Do you plan on getting there early in the morning or at the end of the day shift? Maybe, like Mitt Romney, you have to hitch a ride because you loaned your campaign all of your money. Living in Houston and voting early (i'm voting before I die, yo) I had to drive quite a distance to a location that wasn't going to have us waiting for more than an hour. I did end up carpooling and taking the more fuel-efficient Civic. It was the largest line I'd ever seen at the early vote site, which I've used before. The parking lot was overflowing (it is Houston) and they were tricking people into thinking the line wasn't that long by having it wrap around a hallway inside. How about you? How are you going to Jalop the Vote?


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Jeff Glucker

I am going to spray my TAG body spray and then head over the polling place. Once there I will be confronted with a line of epic proportions... to move through it quickly I will win over the crowd thanks to an unbelievable freestyle competition. I will win their support and they will push me to the front... Once I cast my vote for Obama, I will be confronted with Jermaine Dupri who offers me a record contract. We will ride off towards the sunset in an old convertible with the license plate "HOPE" as our new army of followers walk behind us...

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