Ah, the wide open road, where the left-lane hog roams free.

As we all spill into our cars to escape our dreary dark heat holes of suburban homes, we quickly discover that every other driver on we encounter is a complete and raging moron.

They’re driving too fast. They’re driving too slow. They’re texting. They’re checking their directions on google maps (jk they’re texting). They’re signalling left and turning right.

What strategies to you employ to defeat left lane hogs, lane-weavers, no-lights-at-nighters and the rest of the world’s shitty drivers?

Photo Credit: The Tire Pressure BMW Guy

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Contact the author at raphael@jalopnik.com.