How Americans Feel When Europeans Get All The Good Hot Hatches

Illustration for article titled How Americans Feel When Europeans Get All The Good Hot Hatches

I'm on a crusade to explain to car snobs living in the United States that we have probably the best car market anywhere in the world. And then this happens.


Honda not only denies us the upscale European-market Civic, they also deny us the 280-horsepower Type R. Pistol Pete pretty much explained exactly how all of us American gearheads felt when we heard the news.

It's like when you hear that your ex-girlfriend will do things for her new boyfriend that she would never do for you.


Hey, guys, at least we get the Focus ST, Golf GTI and R, Fiesta ST, Fiat 500 Abarth, and Mazdaspeed3, not to mention the regular-grade Hyundai i30 (aka Elantra GT).

But dammit I won't be happy until I can get my hands on a used Renaultsport Megane R26.R!

Photo Credit: Honda

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I don't give a shit.

It bothers me when Jalop uses terms like "us Americans" or whatever, trying to put all car fans in a bubble. And how everyone wants a wagon, everyone loves their crossovers as fat hatchbacks, hey, how recently did Jalop say "hey gearheads, y'all should love you some robocars because I know you hate highway driving."

I don't care about all the Hondas we don't care that you feel the need to post up and jerk off to. And no, it's not because I'm curled up in a corner, holding back tears going "at least I get some shitty Fords and a garbage Hyundai! Not to mention Fiat made an dumb decal and a terrible advertisement with some tits to wank to!"

FWD is shit. It's this fucking economy setup that makes cars cheaper and makes it harder for some dumb bitch in an Acadia to spin out and kill someone. And you motherfuckers can knock the V6 Mustang all you want but the whole handling argument won't save the average Type-R buyer from looking like a dumbass when he pops the e-brake and pretends he can drift.