Sometimes, I enjoy scrolling down my Twitter or Facebook feed without seeing something sad, repulsive or utterly terrifying. I like to see something happy. And often, cars provide that for me. But no, no, no—not this this morning. This morning, I had to be reminded that the front end of the Sin R1 exists.
I have no personal vendetta against Sin or the R1. I think it’s quite lovely that a company that will take some risks and put a six-speed manual or sequential transmission into a weird-looking car with a high-powered Chevy engine in it. What I don’t think is quite lovely is the entire front end that Sin decided to put on this thing, so, when I saw an Autoweek link and photos of the R1 on my Twitter timeline, I instantly reeled back.
Just give this vehicle a stare. Look at it, deep in its headlights, and feel the fear of its poisonous wrath engulf you. Now look slightly down, at whatever kind of daytime-running lights it has that are far separated from the actual headlights.
Feel the instant terror wash over you as you realize that they look like pointed, spaced-out teeth grinning slightly upward like the car is in fact going to devour you. I know it’s there. Feel it.
I’ve stared at these photos for so long that I’m now unsure of whether the R1 looks like a poisonous bug, or Sonic the Hedgehog turned yellow and gone murderously rogue. All I know is that it wants to chow down on my human meat.
Oh, but bugs. Back to the bug thing. I’m a homeowner now, and the thought of giant, poisonous bugs, while terrifying before, is even worse these days. My cats love eating the bugs that make their way into the house and haven’t died yet, which means I’m always on the lookout for dangerous ones that could turn into a bad meal. Plus, I sleep better knowing that there aren’t terrifying bugs around.
The R1 is a terrifying bug and it is around.
Pagani is really bad about this bug thing, too, if you missed that conversation. I liken this fear of bug-cars with the evolutionary concept of trypophobia, which is a fear of hole clusters since lots of holes indicated poisonous and bad things to our ancestors. (I will tell you all again, since you don’t listen, do not Google “trypophobia.”)
Like Paganis, the headlights on the Sin R1 make my evolutionary brain think “poisonous and bad.” But there are ways around this.
If you want to make a car that looks like a bug but doesn’t haunt people in their sleeping and waking hours, consult the Ferrari LaFerrari for your design inspiration. The LaFerrari is sort of weird and low to the ground, sure, and it’s incredibly hard to get into if you’re wearing a helmet. But it looks like a nice grass bug instead of something you’d see creeping around in the parts of the rainforest where fungi grow out of ants’ heads and stuff.
I guess that’s the extent of my wisdom today, automakers. I know that the kids like to buy posters of these terrifying, bug-like vehicles and they probably scare other drivers in the context of racing the cars, but maybe dial it back a little.
If I can picture your car eating me before I can see it eating some pavement on the track or the road, it probably isn’t the best design choice.