Honda CBR1000RR Repsol, Dodge Power Wagon Ambulance, Fire Truck: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

Honda has the best modern liveries on sportbikes. I’m just going to say it. Yamaha’s vintage liveries are gorgeous, but in the modern era no one is doing street bike liveries like Honda. Repsol, the HRC colors — they’re both fantastic, and either would be great adorning reality-warping CBR literbike like this one.

Given Honda’s move to Castrol for the 2025 MotoGP season, I’m wondering whether we’ll get some related liveries on next year’s sportbikes. I’m hoping we do, given both the Castrol colors’ significance in racing history and just how cool they look on the LCR bikes.

We’ve found it: The most Subaru that any Porsche has ever been. Usually the two only share an engine layout, both boxers, but this Cayman trades in some other traditional Subaru fare. That is to say it has a big aftermarket turbo, and was parked for three years after said turbo blew the engine up.

It’s not all Subaru here, though. This Cayman blew its engine at a claimed 191 miles an hour, which few WRXes will ever hit outside of Forza. It also has a wet NOS system, the dream of every Fast and the Furious-watching tuner who immediately went out and bought the cheapest Bugeye on Craigslist. Not that they could afford the NOS, mind you, but Porsche owners have that kind of cash.

This Satellite is a demonstration of what good photography can do for your car ad. This looks like a frame from a movie, which makes it enticing to click on in the sea of portrait-oriented cell phone photos that plague Marketplace. That’s a good thing because the car in the photos isn’t all it seems.

The interior is dirty and worn, the exterior has rust holes patched over with literal tape — it in no way gives off the imposing vibe of this first photo. Yet, by then, you’re invested. How bad could that rust be to patch, really? You’ve been sold on the dream, and now you’ll work with the reality to make that dream happen.

This is cheap for an armored Yukon Denali, right? The precious few photos in the ad prove that the truck is truly armored — just look at the windows — but this is barely more than a new model would cost you. Sure, it’s four years old, but it’s also armored.

Sure, you’ll also pay more in gas, but you’ll have a real-life armored luxury SUV to take you around. You can cosplay a healthcare CEO cowering from every Italian you see on the street, like you’re H.P. Lovecraft in Brooklyn.

I had originally set my Facebook Marketplace radius this week to 500 miles from Jacksonville, Florida. That plan sputtered out pretty quickly, when it turned out that approximately 80 percent of Marketplace listings in Florida are fake, and this Z ended up popping up in Michigan. All that to say, it has rust.

But rust can be patched, and vehicles new enough not to be rust don’t look like this Z. Sure, the modern Z tries, but it can’t match these proportions. That’s just not done any more. And I promise you, you can pull those bumpers off.

I love old vans with sides that look like the absolute thinnest sheet metal ever attached to a motor vehicle. The panels aren’t straight, they’re barely reinforced, they’re just sort of there to demarcate “inside” from “outside.”

This is probably fine for an old ambulance, where the walls are largely present just to prevent stray humours from working their way inside and messing up the patient’s black bile levels. I have it on good authority that they hadn’t invented the whole “shelves of medical supplies” thing yet.

The CX500 is an extremely weird bike. Its riding position is very normal and neutral, it’s all normal to operate, but mechanically the bike is laden with transverse V-twin and a turbocharger. That’s an engine package that we in the biz call “absolutely bonkers.”

Transverse V-twins are the domain of Moto Guzzi now, with Honda long since having abandoned the layout. They’re style symbols, meant less for performance and more for uniquity. I’m told that once you feel one you never go back, and I can only imagine that must go double for a turbocharged version.

Something about these wheels on a Samurai absolutely sends me. I get that they’re a very normal, boring alloy wheel, but that’s exactly why they’re so funny here. The Suzuki is an extraordinarily interesting car, yet here it is with the wheels off someone’s Rav4. Comedy.

The seller says this Samurai runs and drives, but might need a fuel pump. That’s not a near future need, it’s presented as immediate. That makes one wonder how the car runs and drives, but I digress.

Hagerty recently listed this generation Prelude as one of its annual “cars you should buy as an investment,” about which I have incredibly mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m glad to see this era of Prelude get the recognition it deserves — it’s the best the car ever looked.

On the other, I don’t want to see these skyrocket in price from investors who only get into cars for the money. That was enough to get Jonas Miller killed, and now we celebrate it? Cars should never be investments. They should always be driven and enjoyed.

You thought you were getting through a week of Dopest without a cheap pickup truck in a condition best described as “hazardous,” huh? Well, bud, you’re reading the wrong slideshow. ‘Round these parts, we love and respect our garbage pickups that would never pass inspection in any state that mandates them.

It’s a little tough to tell from the ad’s near-impermeable copy, but it seems this pickup is exclusively front wheel-drive. The seller says “4wd rear of truck been chopped,” followed by “rear diff been welded.” Is it four-wheel drive? All-wheel drive? Rear? Front? Who knows.

A metallic orange Hayabusa with flames. He’ll yeah, borther.

This ‘Busa is such an interesting exercise in motorcycle coloring. Normally bikes are very color coded — Hondas are red, Yamahas are blue, Kawasakis are green, Suzukis are a different blue, KTMs are orange, et cetera — but the custom world pushes back on that. This Hayabusa is orange, but not a KTM orange — yet, the levers here are clearly meant to go with KTM paint. Motorcycle colors are fun.

A philosopher would have a grand old time charting the path that the Ford Lightning name has taken. At the turn of the millennium, arguably the height of the United States’ international hegemonic power, the Lightning was a sport truck — the two-doors-and-a-bed icon of America, built to be fast and handle well simply because we could. We made our trucks perform because we’d run out of needs and moved fully on to wants.

Now, the Ford Lightning is an EV. It’s a desperate last gasp against a changing climate, a vehicle that can power your house in the event of an outage — it’s a vehicle for a whole new set of needs. Needs that are urgent, needs that are terrifying, needs with an apocalyptic bent. Some philosopher should talk about that.

Okay, I know this is a dweeby trike, but hear me out. Look at its shape from the side, this silhouette. Does it remind you of anything? What if you picture it in red, with stickers from Shoei, BMW, and Canon?

You should buy this and make it into the world’s easiest-to-ride Akira replica. Sure, you won’t be able to slide it like Kaneda, but you can at least cruise the highway like him. Maybe wear a helmet, though.

The seller of this fire truck offers few details, but how many do you need? It’s a fire truck. It’s red. You can put a dalmatian on it. Are you not already sold? The seller claims it runs and the water pump works, and if you aren’t already making an offer right now then I don’t understand you.

Yellow Subaru WRXes are always a treat, you don’t see them all too often. The rest of this Rex, though, is actually fairly standard — if on the interesting side of standard — fare. The mod list goes a little like this.

370whp @20psi on e85 (current tune)
Usdm oem spec ej205 (57k current miles)
Jdm 4.11 trans (89k current miles)
STI interior
STI cluster matched to chassis mileage
Timing recently done
Oil changed with Motul every 3000 miles
No rust
No frame damage
Pinch welds are rough
I wire speed density kit
Enkei pf1 mag blue
Fresh Kenda tires
Race-land primo coilovers
Id 1050x injectors
Fuel lab 340 pump
irashi 10cm 20g turbo
Cobb gesi downpipe
Invidia n1 catback
Center gauge pod
Perrin inlet
Fmic
Koyorad racing radiator
Tial q 50mm bov
Jax fab intake
Tuned by migtuned on e85
Tial 38mm ewg
Grimm speed ewg uppipe
No ac needs condenser

The only way that could get more classically Subaru is if it ran Rotella T6 rather than Motul. This should be available as a kit for Subie owners, down to the JDM engine and the pinch welds.