We’ve seen some unpleasant stories about road rage recently, but it’s worth remembering that humans aren’t the only offenders here. Plenty of other mammals can be real assholes on the road, like this hippo, who’s basically 3000 lbs of lane-hogging asshole. Look what this even-toed ungulate jerk does to this guy’s Ford Ranger:
Damn, hippo. The driver of the truck is a welding inspector named Wikus Ceronie, and here’s what he had to say about his encounter with a leathery-skinned animal that weighs more than my car:
I was crossing the border from Kruger National Park when I noticed a hippo on the bridge.
There were people walking around in the nearby vicinity so I automatically assumed this hippo was used to humans. I was quite fascinated by this so I took out my phone to start filming.
Suddenly the hippo turned and just started charging… I braced myself as I realized he wasn’t going to stop. He hit the bakkie head on and then tried biting it. I guess after that he decided he had won because he just turned around and left.
This was terrifying for me because I realized I had nowhere to go and no time to do it in. Beside me was a 50m drop so had he hit me on the side I have no doubt the car would have rolled down the embankment. Even though there was damage done to the bonnet of my vehicle and the door couldn’t open, I’m grateful there were no serious injuries at the end of day.
I think repeating the word “shit” is about the most appropriate response you can have to a hippo attacking your car. Oh, and before anyone bitches about the vertical-oriented video, just remember, this guy was getting charged by a hippo, not re-making Citizen Kane. You’ll live.
Relatedly, those non-U.S. market Ford Rangers seem like pretty nice little trucks! Why don’t we get those here, again? Can’t they shove a seat in the bed for a Chicken Tax loophle? We’re pretty hippo-free, here, too.