All image credits: Justin Westbrook

I’m not usually one for convertibles, but for a 2019 Aston Martin DB11 Volante, I’ll make an exception. It’s a sleek and beautiful machine with a menacing V8 soundtrack to boot. Aston Martin just sent me the sticker (aka the Monroney) for the press loaner I had over the weekend. Care to have a look with me?

The DB11's gas mileage was, for lack of a better word, hilarious. Aston Martin quotes it to have a combined rate of 20 miles per gallon. I don’t know what it actually was, as I was stuck in hoards of NYC traffic this weekend, but I felt like the gas gauge perpetually read that we were at half tank. Even after fill up.

Photo: Aston Martin

And then we get to the options. Stupidly, I thought that there wasn’t much more you could tack on top of a car that already has a retail asking price of $216,495. “This isn’t a Porsche!” I laughed to myself. How goddamn wrong I was!

Here is the window sticker, in all its glory:

Photo: Aston Martin

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After near $50,000 in options, the final price of my loaner came to $264,649.

The Bang & Olufsen audio system sounded real good, but was it $8,330 worth of good? I don’t think so. I’ve got a nice V8 to listen to. But, then again, this is the same company that will sell you a pair of in-ear headphones for $249.

And $1,595 for red brake calipers. Dude, if you get the wheels off for me, I’ll mask up the brake discs and the rest of the car and spray paint that shit for you myself. And I’ll charge you a fraction of the price.

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It also came with a really nice umbrella strapped in the trunk. It was a solidly made, quality, double-ribbed umbrella with “Aston Martin” and “Made In England” written on its brushed aluminum handle. $295. Cool.

I am feigning outrage, of course. It’s an Aston Martin. Of course even the most basic stuff will be marked up. In fact, the only thing that triggered any sort of real indignation was the price of the piano black trim.

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We’ve ranked interior trims before and piano black fell somewhere in the middle. But I didn’t write that story. If I had, I would have stuck piano black where it belongs: Dead last.

It looks fine right after it’s been cleaned, but so much as brush against it with a finger and boom! A smeary fingerprint right there. It gets grimy really fast and feels cheap when you knock on it.

There was an upsetting amount of piano black in the Aston. It ran along the center console, across the door panels and covered the back of the front seats. The cost of the piano black trim inlay? $2,690. The cost of the piano black seat backs? $1,675. Good riddance and good night.

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The DB11 Volante is a beautiful car. Its insides are beautiful, too. At this point, I would be fine with just about anything. Even, like, stone. Just use something other than piano black.