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Here's The New Presidential Beast Limo

The presidential limousine is said to weigh up to 20,000 pounds, and is loaded with features like blood bags and run-flat tires that are designed to protect the Leader of the Free World(™) in a crisis. Built by General Motors, the limos—around a dozen were ordered in 2014—cost around $1.5 million each. And now there’s an all-new one.


For that money, you get doors that don’t so much resemble the ones on your Toyota, as they do hatches on an old battleship.

The precise specs of the presidential limo have always been secret, but some things we do know about it, or can safely assume:

  • It keeps the 2+3+2 layout of the previous Beast.
  • It starts with the chassis of a GM heavy duty truck.
  • It vaguely has the styling of a new Cadillac, though in the same way that me in overalls resembles Vince Wilfork in overalls.
  • There’s blood on board matching the president’s blood type (nacho cheese?) in case of emergency.
  • It has an oxygen supply in case of chemical attack.
  • And probably a fuck-ton of weapons, like a tear-gas launcher.
  • Its doors are a foot thick.

The new limo replaces one last updated in 2009, and is actually over a year overdue, as it was originally scheduled to be ready for Trump’s inauguration. But it quietly made its debut last week, according to Fox News, and was spotted on Sunday in New York City as Trump went to the U.N.

You can see two new Beasts in this video, one carrying the president, and the other a lookalike meant to confuse any would-be attacker. Somewhat surprisingly, our president hasn’t commented on the car yet, but when he does I’m sure he’ll say that it’s the greatest car ever.

News Editor at Jalopnik. 2008 Honda Fit Sport.

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Too bad it’s being waisted on this piece of shit.