Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals

I’ve always felt one of the most unsung contributions to motoring was the introduction of the full-hood identifying graphic, first seen on the Pontiac Firebird starting in 1970. While many people may find these Screaming Chickens cheesy or campy, I’m certain more cars would benefit from similar treatments. Here, let me show you.

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I’m convinced that an exuberant, over-the-top, winged or possibly flaming representation of a car’s name would dramatically improve the character of any car. I’m so convinced that I decided to mock up hood decal treatments for ten cars that don’t exactly have names that lend themselves to full-hood decals.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals

The basic rules are simple. I just did exactly what was done for the legendary Firebird: take the literal representation of the name of the car, then maybe add spread wings or flames or maybe both. Boom, you’re done, instant-awesome.

Here’s what I came up with. Just try and tell me any of these cars wouldn’t be vastly improved with one of these hood decals. I encourage owners of these cars to take these mock-ups and contact your local vinyl sticker shop immediately.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals

A badass representation of an accord, like, you know, a peace accord or something. The Screaming Handshake.

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Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals

It’s not a traffic ticket; it’s a traffic citation. A glorious, winged citation.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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Yeah! Colorado! Wear that boxy, landlocked state with pride on your hood!

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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I guess technically that’s all the elements, but you get the idea. Still badass.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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Animals always lend themselves to great hood decals, and the Screaming Panda is no exception.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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You can almost feel the gout in this classy-ass hood decal. It’s not winged or flaming, but the playing card motif makes it as classy as a casino carpet.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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This totally should have been a real tie-in, right? Cross-branding! This would have been a goldmine.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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I mean, how could this hurt? If the licensing works out, a screen shot from Q*Bert could work, too.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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Taking the Note’s name and turning into sweet hood-art lets the world know you’re not afraid to write shit down so you won’t forget something.

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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I’m sure everyone knows Nissan named their Silvia after The Bell Jar author Sylvia Plath, so why not make that really clear with the kickass winged head of the poet who put her head in an oven?

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Cars That Deserved 'Screaming Chicken' Firebird-Style Hood Decals
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Is there something more awesome to have on a car hood than a mighty, winged writing instrument? No. Fuck no. The Stylus should have had this option from the factory.

I think it goes without saying that I’d love to see other takes on this idea in the comments, so I’ll go without saying that.

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Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

DISCUSSION

What? No Nissan Skyline with this on the hood?