Here's Everything Broken On Your Cars

We opened Pandora's Box by asking what was wrong with your ride. We regret it now.

This is apparently a bit of a sore subject. I should have known better, as I never like listing what’s wrong with my cars, either. Clearly you guys do, though. In my time at Jalopnik I’ve never seen this many answers. All it took was asking you what’s currently wrong with your cars.

I’m glad you guys saw this as a safe space to vent. Your cars are truly hoopties in the most specific sense of the word, but I’m not judging. I’m sitting here right along side you.

We’ve got a real wide range of issues here, too. There’s ruined engines, broken windows and everything else in between.

So, sit back, relax and bask in your fellow readers’ automotive nightmares.

2 / 18

2001 BMW E46 3 Series - ‘Stupid’ Window

2001 BMW e46
My stupid drivers side front window came off its track on Thursday of last week. What a pain in the ass. It’s currently held up with packing tape. It makes a ton of noise.
Nothing makes you feel poor like hanging out of your door at a fast food drive through.
My local U-Pull-It has my exact car in my exact color. I think I might just swap the entire door. It’s only $102!

This. This I felt in my bones. My passenger side window fell into the door and shattered after my high school girlfriend closed the door just a little bit too hard. I wasn’t thrilled to say the least. Go get the replacement door. $102 is a small price to pay to save you embarrassment at the drive through.

Suggested by: Unacceptably Dry Scones

3 / 18

Fiat 500 - ‘Fucking’ Alternator

Fucking alternator on my Fiat 500. On principle, it’s a simple job, except that whoever designed this stupid car probably is a sadist. A dealer quoted me $3500 for the job. Guess what I’ll be doing next weekend.

Oh man. That is a nasty goddamn scam by the dealer. Good luck this weekend, hopefully it won’t be too much of a pain. I’m not much of a wrencher myself, so I’d probably just give up immediately and begin sobbing. Godspeed, friend, godspeed.

Suggested by: jb21

4 / 18

1969 Dodge Charger - Gear Vendors

It’s something which galls me to no end....
Installed a Gear Vendors overdrive to the Charger—get my 3.55 gears down to 2.75 for ultra-cruising on the Interstate. So maybe, just maybe, I’ll finally do my tour of the western and northwestern States with the Charger. Talk about an ice-breaker...a 2nd gen Charger attracts car nuts like a picnic attracts ants.
A Gear Vendor overdrive ends up as an extension to the automatic trans—off goes the 727's tail, on go the GV unit. That change means you have to shorten the driveshaft. (And I had to relocate the “H” crossover of the dual exhaust.) Fine: got the driveshaft shortened.
Take the Charger for a spin to check it out and there’s a vibration...crap! It’s a straight line from the overdrive to the diff’s U-joint, so why the hell am I getting a vibration? It’s not as if I had to worry about angle in = angle out with the driveshaft since there’s no offset in the driveshaft’s position. And yet I’m getting a vibration...grrrrrr.
And for icing on the awful cake, when I took the Charger for the test drive, I literally lost all brakes. No joke, my foot went to the floor with zero stopping happening. You want to put your heart in your throat? No brakes will do it—you never want to experience that sensation. Thankfully the car gods smiled on me as I sailed thru an intersection with the red light on me with no cross-traffic.
Finally got the car towed home. Replaced the master cylinder, but still have the overdrive vibe...it’s always something with these old muscle cars...it pays to be masochist with them. Big time.

Good luck with all that, my dude. Also, thank you for explaining what a Gear Vendors overdrive is and how it works. You learn something new every day. I always assumed it was magic. You’ll get it sorted. You have to, because that sounds like quite an epic road trip.

Suggested by: the 1969 Dodge Charger Guy

5 / 18

1992 Chevy K1500 - 17 Year Old Battery & Other Little Volvo Things

1992 K1500, 103k miles.... battery is from 2005. I think it’s finally calling it quits... charged it a couple weeks ago, and had to jump it twice last week to move my trailer on and off the driveway.... it’s time. (replaced all the brake cylinders at the wheels, ran lines, and replaced master cylinder on the trailer)...
all my volvos are running beautifully, though we are going to convert the race car from rotor to coil on plug, so we’ll figure out what’s broken to fix after that.
on a similar note. I built a tool to bleed the trailer brakes this weekend. instead of sitting there pumping the brakes, I used this smuckers jar and parts I had in the garage... I hook up a bike pump to the presta valve.... the pressure forces the brake fluid up a tube and in to the master cylinder cap.... and to each wheel. I just had a friend make sure he kept 20psi in the jar, and we had the entire system bled in about 15 minutes.

My brother in Christ, please change your battery. That is a remarkable amount of time for one of those to keep going, but I think it is indeed time.

As for everything else you mentioned, I am amazed your flock of Volvos are all that trouble free. Good on ya. I also love your excellent solution to bleed brakes. So, all in all you’re two-out-of-three in terms of good things here. Not too shabby.

Suggested by: redneckrob and his flock of Volvos

6 / 18

2009 Lexus IS - All Of It

Let’s see here... 2009 Lexus IS with 135k on the clock:
Every power lock except the driver’s door. I’ve come to believe that Toyota power lock mechanisms are the Achilles heel of reliability for the company. The same lock mechanism also failed on the rear cargo door of my wife’s 2010 Rav4 at around a similar time. I replaced that one right away though, because there was no way to lock the back door other than the power lock. The factory door locks just suck.
Heater core (I think) on the driver side. Passenger side heat works great. Driver’s side doesn’t blow hot air any more.
Increased oil consumption. It’s not bad. It just uses a bit more than it did in years past. If I wait until the 5k service interval, I usually end up with a low oil light on in the last 500 miles or so. Now I just check it around 3k and top it off with about half a quart.
Weird engine stumbling after prolonged period of sitting. If I drive the car regularly, it has no issues whatsoever. However, if I go on vacation or otherwise don’t drive the car for about a week, the car will generally stumble and miss pretty badly for a few minutes after startup and the check engine light will come on, along with the traction control light. Usually, this disappears in a few minutes and the car works normally after that (except for the check lights staying on for a few days before turning themselves off unless I reset them by pulling power to the battery for 30 seconds or so). I have no idea what causes this behavior.

Good lord. I think your car is begging to die.

Submitted by: Cixelsyd

7 / 18

Borrowed 2009 Chevy Silverado 2500 HD - So Much

My budget looking at current car prices. Normally the firstr rule is “don’t buy a truck” when you can borrow one for “free” - like the cow/milk addage. However, I might change my mind
It might be better to BUY in this case. Lesson Don’t borrow the inlaws new-old cattle farm truck. It might be cheaper than buying new but it might cost you more! Second rule of farm truck, it isn’t mud, it is cow poop. If it isn’t cow poop, it is some other cow fluid.
Borrowed 2009 Silverado 2500HD
I am working/thinking/leaning towards a transmission wiring harness for a 2500HD. A bad connection etc is the only thing I think that is causing a intermittent bad 1/2 shift and a bit of torque converter foibles.
Just disassembled the driver’s window control module and cleaned it. Now I can roll down the windows.
The airbag warning light is ON. Also has a takada airbag recall that needs to happen.
Cruise Control is intermittent. Pulling the brake pedal towards the driver helps engage it. Likely that switch.
Kinda fixed the turn/window wiper switch and it was just dirty with unknown crud/stuff.
Tires are low on tread.
Armrest/seats. I might have to have it re-upholstered. Way too much poop/cow fluids, ripped fabric and vinyl. Who specced a farm truck with CLOTH seats???? WTF?
About a thousand quarters at the carwash...
and still need to hard wash the interior.

Perhaps never borrow this vehicle again. I fear for your life just a little bit. It’s truly impressive how long some cars can drive while also being horrendously broken. I honestly respect it.

Submitted by: FutureDoc

8 / 18

Audi RS6 Avant - Rear Coil Spring

This broke a rear coil spring. Not sure if doing 183mph on the autobahn 4 up with gear had anything to do with it...
To Audi’s credit, you can’t tell when driving. I only noticed because one corner is a bit low. Ordered KW adjustable springs for it. Keeps the standard DRC struts but allows height adjustability.
A leaking strut on this turned into coilovers, driveshaft seals, full polybush set, blasting and painting all the arms plus braided brake lines for good measure.

I think you may be onto something with how that coil broke in the first place. I’m not sure, but I do have a hunch about that. Also, as a side note your car is beautiful, and I am mad at Audi that I cannot have a go in one.

Suggested by: Cammmy

9 / 18

Renault 4 - A Whole Bunch Of Stuff

cracked exhaust manifold;
moody carburettor;
front, driver side suspension arm ball joint has “a bit of a knock”;
heater core radioator;
both front door locks;
hatch lock;
decaying rubber insulation all around;
leaky fuel cap (it’s fine, I just need to make sure I never park it leaning backwards);
repairs I had to deal with in the past three years include a carburettor rebuild, two distributor overhauls, failing brake master cylinder, and just 2.000km ago the whole clutch gave in (plate, bearing and fork). I plan to address the suspension ball joint knock soon and I’ll be dealing with the exhaust manifold after that. Surprisingly, it only left me stranded twice, and everything except for the clutch was a quick, cheap repair (I had to wait almost a week for my mechanic to source a clutch fork, and spent over €400, most of it labour).

That all sounds not great. But, I’ll let it slide since the Renault 4 is the star-car in the oft forgotten (but Kalmowitz family classic movie) Leap Year. His was red though, but that’s close enough for me.

Suggested by: Comment Box Sanitation Dept. - never sticks to cars

10 / 18

Mazda5 - Both Rear Window Regulators

Both rear window regulators on my Mazda5 are no longer functioning properly. Since I’m the only one who drives the car, and the A/C works okay , and the car has 165K miles on it -AND- the estimate to replace the regulators is around $300.00 EACH....
Well, just fuck it.
I will be spending $300 on some new speakers later this year, because the factory units are crap.
Yes, I know my priorities are screwed up.

These are wild priorities, but who am I to judge? All I do is make weird/bad decisions with my life. Fuck the rear windows. My mom’s minivan didn’t have opening windows when I was a kid, and I turned out fine!

Suggested by: Earthbound Misfit I

11 / 18

Everything Is A Mess

I have a spectrum
2016 Mazda CX-5, the one good car because it has never needed a repair in 5 years. It does need the mineral deposits cleaned off the side windows and the snow tires swapped out.
2002 Ford F150
sticky door lock on passenger side
minor oil and trans fluid leaks, need friction modifier in the rear differential
Tires are old and starting to crack.
2003 Buick LeSabre “Moby Dick” the kid’s beater
broken exhaust hanger (secure but rattling)
hood will latch but not fully close due to minor collision damage
broken tail light lens, broken inner door panel, dead lights in HVAC panel.
Epitomizes “a GM car will run badly longer than a Honda will run well” since the 3800 V6 starts first try and runs strong, the transmission is solid and the ride is no worse at 213,000 than 21,000. It’s the crap plastics that let it down
Also the motorcycles need some love
1978 BMW R100S
overdue for oil filter and valve clearances, needs correct front fender hardware and new choke cables
1983 Honda cm250c
recently resurrected needs a battery, a horn and tires made in this century. Also insurance and tags

Sir, I am begging you nicely to have one vehicle that works. Reading all of this actually gave me anxiety. You are far, far braver than me.

Suggested by: Slow Joe Crow

12 / 18

2015 VW GTI - Broken Shifter

Just fixed the issue that popped up last week. Got to work, put the ‘15 GTI into park (DSG), turned off the car and the key wouldn’t come out of the column. WTF?
This is the shifter with the center ‘leather’ thing and right side plastic/chrome thing removed. It has 4 clips that attach to the shifter, 3 had broken into 4 different pieces. Dead center of this pic is the plastic actuator that moves up when you push in the button on the front of the shifter. Directly behind that piece you can see some chrome pieces, those are all of the pieces of clips, they jammed up the button so the car detects that the button is not fully released and won’t let you take the key out.
If you have a VAG product that has one of these shifters and either side of it is loose, this is potentially in your future. Either replace it with stock after fishing out all the pieces, or get an aftermarket replacement.
Swapped it out the next day for a Leyo that looks fantastic and has no clips that will get jammed into anything. Easy job except for the metal clip that holds the leather shift boot on... if the handle was built with the same fortitude that the shift boot clip was, this would be a non-issue.
Works just like those old school EMPI shifters too, kinda like a retro touch, you pull up on that ring below the knob. Having a leather button made to go on top with an embroidered VW logo, in red, to match the rest of the trim.

God damn, that sounds like a pain in the ass to deal with. You gotta love that VW reliability, thought. Less than 10 years old and simple plastic shit is already starting to fail. I admire their commitment to the bit at this point.

Suggested by: NegativeEd

13 / 18

2004 Dodge Neon SRT-4 - A Tree Fell On it

Here’s my 2004 Dodge SRT-4, which I bought new way back then. Mechanically it’s fine; it runs great. But after a freaking tree fall on it in March, it needs:
Both fendersHoodWindshield, cowl, and trimTail lightDents fixed and paint
It should be quite fixable. I’m still waiting on my appraiser and the insurance company’s appraiser to agree on a value. I already have all of the parts I need, except the hood. Very hard to find that for the SRT-4 these days. I’ll probably end up getting a fiberglass or carbon fiber one.

That’ll buff right out.

Suggested by: CSX321

14 / 18

2014 Jeep Compass - The Fact It’s A Jeep Compass

2014 Jeep Compass:
Passenger seat shield is broken off
Seat Belt sensor for passenger side isn’t working properly (sets light off if belt is fully retracted, if it’s pulled even a little bit, it turns off)
Shocks are starting to bottom out in the front
Driver’s Side Plate Lamp has an electrical issue: sometimes it turns on, other times the rear hatch needs a good smack to turn it on
Speaking of the rear hatch: I managed to push in the metal right underneath the rear glass and now it’s dented
Weatherstripping surrounding both of my front doors seem to have shrunk
It might be a common thing for them, but man if I don’t drive it further than the whole 18 or so miles I do every week, man does that sucker have a vibration from hell

Please take this as a sign to get rid of your Jeep Compass. I beg you. For your sanity please get rid of it.

Suggested by: T240

15 / 18

Honda Fit - The Pains Of Getting Old

My Fit has:
-a dent in the corner of the rear bumper
-some rust around the rear wheel wells
-a dent in the front fender
-an occasional misfire on cyl #2 which I’m 75% sure is due to one of the intake valves on that cylinder being on the way out and causing ticking sounds
-The A/C is getting weak.
Am I gonna fix this stuff? Nah... I paid $4000 plus tax for my beater Fit 3.5 years ago. I’m gonna drive it until it dies and only do the required maintenance and essential repairs.

Sometimes I feel like your Fit. I am a little bit broken all over, but it will be fine. Also your $4,000 Fit would go for over $900,000 on Bring a Trailer these days. Something to think about...

Suggested by: Manwich - now Keto-Friendly

16 / 18

2014 Cadillac ELR - First World Problems

2014 Cadillac ELR.
Left side haptic motor on drivers seat for vibration feedback.
About once a month I get a warning that tells me there is a problem and then the seat vibration turns off and I get audio alerts instead.
I just turn the vibration alerts back on.
I have the part but need to find the time to pull the seat out, take off the seat cover and replace the motor.
Kind of the poster child for first world problems.

Based that you have a Cadillac ELR. Those things were so cool looking. I’ll admit I’m a bit jealous.

Suggested by: csimme01

17 / 18

No Clue - Engine Isn’t In The Car

Part of my engine is missing ...

I’m no expert, but part of your engine is missing.

Suggested by: Remember dialing “popcorn” for the time?

18 / 18