Shortly after I laid out my argument for why the SUV-defeating rock in Omaha, Nebraska is, in fact, a hero rock, a tipster from Columbus, Ohio, sent in evidence of their own hero rock.
“We have a similar boulder,” the tipster wrote in, who asked to remain anonymous, “and it’s nearly unfathomable how often vehicles hit and/or get stuck on top of it.”
I’m at a total loss here. Not even close to rounding that turn properly. A solid four feet short.
Didn’t see the rock there, did ya? It’s cool, I get it, it’s only a big ol’ goddamn rock.
Almost made it around that gigantic rock. Almost.
Truly, a magisterial work by the rock. The driver almost got the entire freaking rock underneath their CR-V. How do you fuck up that badly?
And here’s what happens when you’ve seen one too many Jeep commercials:
While our nation’s government has been too busy regulating door mirror specifications to weigh in on whether SUVs are too dangerous for our roads, we have to turn to a more renegade source. Large rocks. And the rocks are up for the challenge.
Do you have a local hero rock demonstrating how many SUV drivers are wholly unfit for operating their motor vehicles? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll stay on this story all night if we have to.